Just When I Thought I Was Out, She Pulls Me Back In

I feel like Miley and I are that couple everyone knows. You know the one that always fights in public and breaks up and then makes up, basically living on a perpetual roller coaster. That’s us, except for the part where we’ve never met and I just spend all day with half a chub debating with myself on whether or not I can actually masturbate to anything she does. Other than that minor detail, we’re totally that couple.