I know, I know, I was also unaware that some 8th grades had valedictorians. Perhaps more of them need to, though? Because this kid knocked it out of the fucking park. That was incredible, particularly the Trump (first one) and Bernie Sanders (starts at 6:30) bits. I almost feel like we need to hire this kid? He’s about to slide right into Barstool’s 15-21 year old demographic and if we want to keep the stranglehold on that, then we need to keep the young talent flowing. Can’t have SNL swooping in and stealing an impressionist of this caliber. Kind of a cocky move to do a valedictory address where you know none of your classmates know what you’re talking about and just show off to the parents how smart you are and how closely you’re following this election you can’t vote in, but that level of self-confidence will fit in nicely around our office.