A Woman In An Army Recruiting Office Pretending To Be A Colonel To Get A Loan Is The Funniest Awful Scheme Ever

 

YouTube/Stolen Valor – A fake Colonel goes into a recruiting office looking to score a free ride. She also needs some rank for her uniform.. she might want to pick up some boots while she is at it.

 

I’m probably not the intended audience for these Stolen Valor videos given that the closest I’ve been to action is being put in a sailor suit as a kid because my dad was in the Navy or getting texts saying “Roger” from a friend who served but I still love them all so much. It only really happens with the military for some reason but people love dressing up like these brave men and women and assume that because they’re wearing an outfit that vaguely resembles what military people wear in the Transformers movies that it somehow makes their lie totally credible. And there’s also always this weird overconfidence with them like it’s such a perfect scheme; this lady thought she could waltz into a recruiting office with her casual attitude and lack of appropriate uniform down to the shoes and get people to think she’s a COLONEL. And she’s totally unaware she was shooting for the stars. In fact Why stop there? Why not be a fake general? Maybe a fake Commander in Chief? The world is your oyster and promotions are generous when you’re poorly making it up.

 

Also completely unrelated (even though I have to assume I can’t be alone thinking like this) but this got me thinking about other fictional colonels and I ended up Googling “Is Colonel Sanders really a colonel?” and here’s the answer:

 

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Hilarious way to gain the title of colonel but that possibly racist old man did fry a hell of a chicken. Way more deserving of his fictional colonelship than this lady.