If You Can't Be Happy For Phil Kessel Finally Winning A Cup, Then You Have A Rather Large Turd In Your Pants
Sidney Crosby is making it slightly less harder to hate him as the years go by. At just 28-years-old he has already won 2 Stanley Cups, 2 Olympic gold medals, a World Juniors championship, a World Championship gold, and he’ll probably get a World Cup gold medal in a few months. But despite how much success he’s had in this game, he’s still an extremely hateable human. Phil Kessel, on the other hand, is the anti-Crosby. He hasn’t really found much success at any level. Drafted 5th overall by the Bruins in 2006, traded away to a fish bowl in Toronto just 3 years later and forced to take on the role as the savior to bring that city their first Cup since 1967, was essentially run out of that town last summer and yet he’s still one of the more lovable guys in the league. Mix in the fact that he had his battle with cancer and is easily the most relatable players in the NHL and it’s pretty damn difficult to find any reason to not be happy for the guy.
Phil Kessel is one of us. He doesn’t look like an NHL player, he looks like one of us. He doesn’t eat like an NHL player, he eats like one of us. He doesn’t act like an NHL player, he acts like one of us. He is one of our own and when one of our own finally achieve their life long dream of winning the Stanley Cup, well then you’re just da belle of da Hates Ball if you can’t appreciate that. The man played out of his mind throughout the entire playoffs. A man who looks like THIS was able to take over the Stanley Cup Playoffs and make them his bitch.
He’s a hero to some, a legend to many. Phat Phil Phorever.
Some more highlights from the celebration last night since the Penguins only have 24 more hours for me to be happy for them. After today, it’s back to pure unadulterated hate.
A couple of really great moments back-to-back in the passing of the Cup. Trevor Daley missed the last 9 games of the playoffs with a broken ankle. Off the ice, Daley’s mom is currently battling cancer and apparently isn’t doing too well. Real sad situation that nobody wants to go through but Crosby, despite contrary belief, is actually a pretty swell guy and made sure that Daley was the first in line to make sure his mom could see her son lift the Stanley Cup over his head. As hard as it is to do sometimes, it’s always important to remember these are actual humans with actual real life shit going on outside of the 60 minutes a night they’re playing an ice hockey game.
Then Pascal Dupuis gets the chance to end his career with the Cup in his hands. I’m sure the majority of you already know that Dupuis had to cut his career short due to a medical condition related to blood clots. Nobody wants to see any player be forced to stop playing against their own will. But it’s a choice that Dupuis had to make and again, it’s hard not to be at least a little happy for the guy.
Babies in the Stanley Cup will never not be adorable. But imagine winning the Cup and STILL feeling the need to brag to everybody that you had sex at least one time before. Pretty narcissistic if you ask me. We get it, bro. You have the best life ever right now. No need to rub it in all of our faces. Jerk.
Now here we have Cuba Gooding Jr. talking to JR before the game. And it would appear that he’s rooting for the Sharks to win game. Hell, he’s so fired up for the Sharks that he’s out here dropping F-bombs right in JR’s grill.
Now let’s take a quick look at post-game Cuba Gooding Jr…
That mother fucking Benedict Arnold son of a bitch. I liked you better in Radio, Cuba.
And that’s a wrap. Another year of hockey has come and gone. There were plenty of highs, plenty of lows, things got a little weird and in the end, they were the best 8 months that you could ask for. Is it October yet?