Are Philly Sports Fans Allowed To Laugh At The City Of Cleveland?
This question really hit me last night while the whole internet was laughing at Andrew Bynum sitting at the Cavs game alone in slippers, drinking a Miller Lite, and looking like he was about to perform a cover of the “Thong Song” during halftime. Because just remember one thing here, Philadelphia. This is the man that the Sixers traded Andre Iguodala to the Nuggets for. Andrew Bynum was sitting in section 12 last night at Quicken Loans Arena, and Andre Iguodala is one win away from his 2nd consecutive NBA Championship. As funny as this random Andrew Bynum sighting was, it was also pretty fucked up. And that leads me to the bigger question here; are Philly sports fans allowed to point and laugh at Cleveland fans? Are we allowed to feel sorry for their ass? I pray the answer is yes, but we need to come up with a verdict here.
I’m not a complete fool. I realize that life as a Philly sports fan is a tortorous hell that I wouldn’t wish upon even my biggest enemy. In my 24-years of living on this planet, I’ve been able to witness just one championship. And with the way the Phillies have played in the past 5 years, I often forget that 2008 ever happened. Would I take that 1 championship over Cleveland’s zero? Obviously every day of the week. I’d never in a million years want to be Cleveland. But it’s a harsh realization when you’re looking around at Cavs fans after they go down 3-1 in the series and are able to feel some sympathy with those losers.
LeBron James comes in fresh out of high school. He’s supposed to be the city’s savior. He’s supposed to bring the city their first major championship. What does he do? Hangs out for a few years and then just leaves on them. Goes to Miami, wins a couple in 4 years, forces Cleveland to take him back and now they’re about to lose back-to-back Finals. I need you to actually think about that for a second here. I really think the only city in the world that can almost understand what Cleveland is going through is Philly. That much pain, that much anguish, that much disappointment. I’ve felt it all and I’ve felt it all too much. But does that mean I can’t point and laugh at their misery? I’m not so sure.
So here’s the idea I’m proposing. It’s a Trickle Down Bully system. You see it in the corporate world a lot. Your boss’s boss gets yelled at by his boss so in turn, your boss’s boss starts to yell at your boss. Then because your boss gets yelled at by his boss, your boss then turns around and yells at you. And then because you get yelled at by your boss, you then find some intern to yell at or maybe you just go home and argue with your wife until she divorces you and tells you that she’s been cheating for the past 2 years. I’ve seen this story play out a thousand times. But essentially that’s what is going on here. New York and Boston can point and laugh at Philly for being such a miserable sports city. But because New York and Boston are laughing at Philly, then we turn around and start to laugh at Cleveland for being slightly more miserable than we are. And then Cleveland turns around and maybe I guess they can laugh at Baghdad or some place like that?
P.S. – Win or lose, this dude was still about to go knucks deep with those meaty paws after the game. Can’t hate it. Congrats on the hand sex that may or may not lead to regular sex.