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A Girl On Bumble Exploded On A Dude Because He Didn't Follow Up Right Away On Her First Message

 

^this is a gallery, click to see all the pics

 

So what’s the expression, two’s a coincidence and three’s a trend? Well for the second straight week, a girl is going absolutely ape shit on a dude for the kind of basic things that guys have to deal with all the time. But as a society this is just something we have to ride out as things change. Bumble is an app where girls HAVE to make the first move which means they’re inherently going against their nature of sitting back and choosing a suitor and it makes them feel vulnerable. The result is they have to adjust now and course correct accordingly. Same thing with how many angry white guys there are online who got political correctness shoved down their throats and have to figure out how to adjust without getting fired. It’s new, it’s confusing, it kinda sucks for you, we all just have to get past it. But overall some girls on these apps are acting like REAL dicks lately so tread lightly when swiping right on every breathing thing with a warm orifice like you may currently be doing. Consider it a long overdue PSA.

 

And hey it’s another week of the internet’s preeminent Tinder blog! This blog lives and dies by the quality of stuff you guys send in so thank you to everyone who keeps contributing week after week; this week’s ended up having some really great stuff. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and DM me your submissions (you can also see delightful things like the Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates-related wedding story I had to tweet out today, a treat for us all). And with that, let’s get to the Tinding.

 

 

C-cornellgirlsandanalisasurprisingpairingfiguredanalwasmoreofabrownthing

Cornell girls being the Ivy League leader in anal is surprising, I’d have thought it was more of a Brown thing (via C)

 

 

DIT-dontstopbelievinindeed

Don’t stop believin’ (via DIT)

 

 

JB-thefuckeduppartissomegirlprobablyswipesrightthinkingitsajokeonlytofindoutthisdudehasaweirdzombiefetish

The fucked up part is some random girl probably swipes right thinking this is a joke only to find out this dude has a weird zombie fetish (via JB)

 

 

TB-thispoortinyigrlisliterallyalltitsandicouldntlovehermoreforit

This poor tiny girl is literally all tits and I couldn’t love her more for it (via TB)

 

 

MZ-calvindidntgrowupsowelloncehefoundouthobbeswasntreal

Calvin didn’t grow up so well once he found out Hobbes wasn’t actually real (via MZ)

 

 

CM-butwhatifgodsdickwasoneofusjustasloblikeoneus

What if God’s dick was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? (via CM)

 

 

DF-hopethisdoesntgetthisgirlfiredfromfoxsports

Hope this girl doesn’t get fired from a cushy sideline reporter job for this (via DF)

 

 

D-thisweeksreminderyoudbangatranswithaWAYbetterdegreethanyours

This week’s reminder you’d bang a trans with a wayyyy better college degree than yours (via D)

 

 

 

PD-normallyiprefergirlswhoshaveoverwaxersbecausetheyhavetogrowitoutbuticanmakeanexceptionhere

Normally I prefer shavers over waxers because girls who wax spend the majority of their lives fuzzy vagina’d saying “Oh but it’s so good once I get it waxed” but I think I’m willing to make an exception here (via PD)

 

 

SNS-ibelieveinrewardingqualitywordplayinthisblog

I believe in rewarding quality word play in this blog (via SNS)

 

 

JOC-PAIRWITHCLEVERWORDLPLAYillalsoacceptcleverwordplayinlimerickform

…I will also accept my quality word play in limerick form (via JOC)

 

 

PMR-boldangletodeclareyouretransgenderedwithbutwhynot

Bold angle to declare you’re transgender but if it works it works  (via PMR)

 

 

 

smells-ithinkthisgirlmightbeconfusedbytheblackpowermovement

I think this girl might be confused by the black power movement but maybe she’s being motivated by having Bob Marley in her arm pits (via Smells)

 

 

 

A-alotofgirlshavethisbiobutithinkthisgirlgenuinelyhasagoodfutureMILFface

A lot of girls have this bio but I think girl genuinely has a good future MILF face (via A)

 

 

 

AR-thatisahappylookingpenisthisgirlmaybeontosomething

That is a downright joyous looking penis, this girl must be offering something special (via AR)

 

 

 

D-whatarewegoingforhereharry

Alright Harry what the fuck are we doing here man (via D)

 

 

AH-MAYBELEADthatsthekindofhelpfuladviceagrandmaisgoodfor

Now that’s the kind of helpful advice kids in a few generations will miss out on after not having to blow dudes to get out of a Hooverville (via AH)

 

 

19U-itseemslikesomebioinformationshouldbejustassumed

It seems like some bio information should just be assumed (via 19U)

 

 

 

DS-itsoundslikeyouareinfactnotcurrentlyprettyenoughtonotbeworking

So it sounds like you are in fact not currently too pretty to work (via DS)

 

 

MH-usuallyidontliketoshowpeoplesmessagessopeopledontactlikedickstogirlsbutsavingthemmoneyonmattressesijustakindgesture

Usually I don’t like to show people’s messages so guys don’t act like dicks to girls but saving them money on high quality mattresses courtesy of Leesa? Why that’s just the kindest gesture I’ve ever seen on Tinder (btw this isn’t even an ad I just found it hilarious) (via MH)

 

 

CB-iseenoflawsinthisargumentnowletscheckforstretchmarksandcallitaday

I see no flaws in this argument, now let’s check for stretch marks and call it a day (via CB)

 

 

 

P-nowTHISthisisathreesomecouple

Now THIS is what I expect my weirdo threesome couples on Tinder to look like (via P)

 

 

 

JSB-seriouslythisisworsethanadraft

Seriously this is a more offensive move than reinstating the draft (via JSB)

 

 

crustyjuggs-ifyouretransitioningisntthereabetterchoicethanISIS

Okay I get if you’re born with the name but if you’re transitioning, isn’t there a better name to pick than Isis?? (via crustyjuggs)

 

 

LI1

LI2-honestlylovegirlslikethispositiveattitudeandbeingabletomakefunofyourselfisalotmorethanmostofthoseshowoffchickswalkingaroundhavegoing

Honestly love girls like this. The positive attitude and ability to make fun of yourself is a lot more to offer than all these showoff chicks walking around and skipping all over the damn place (via LI)

 

 

US-ifyouregonnadothegirlclichebasicthingthisisacreativewaytopresentit

If you’re gonna do the girl cliché “I’m so basic lol!!!!” thing at least this is a creative way to present it (via US)

 

 

TB1

TB2-yourcompetitionfortheweekisallinonbeingatryhard50shadesofgrey

Your competition for the week is all in on trying to be a generic brand 50 Shades of Grey (via TB)

 

 

RG1

RG2-jayseemslikeareasonabledudewhoknowshowtotreataladywithclass

…And some more competition for the week also seems like a reasonable type dude who’ll treat a lady with class (via RG)

 

 

JM-bumblecheerleadersgotocollegetoo

The many cheerleaders of Bumble have to go to college too (via JM)

 

 

ML-thosejugsontheleftaresomerealfreeswingingpolygamisttitties

Those jugs on the left are some real free swinging polygamist titties imo (via ML)

 

 

And onto the hot and/or NSFWish ones…

 

 

D-HOTNSFWwellmaintanedbuttsthatsforsure

Well-maintained butts, that’s for sure (via D)

 

 

QM1

QM2-HOTNSFWaslongassatanismallowsyoutokeepthosetanlinesillhaveanopenmind

As long as Satan allows you to keep those tan lines I’ll have an open mind (via QM)

 

 

JC-HOTNSFWthatleftassisstraightgobblingthatbathingsuit

That left ass is straight up Cookie Monster gobbling that bathing suit (via JC)

 

 

MW-HOTNSFW

(via MW)

 

 

MS-HOTNSFWhideifyouwantbutiseeyounipplering

Hide if you want but I see you, Nipple Ring (via MS)

 

 

JC-HOTNSFWiwouldexpectthatnametohaveagoodbuttbutistillfeellikethiswasacurveball

I would expect that name to have a good butt but I still feel like this was a curveball (via JC)

 

 

 

BH-HOTNSFWimtoldthisisapornstarbutnotsurewhichoneplshelp

I’m told this is a porn star but I’m not sure which, I’m confident someone will help (via BH)

 

 

CB-HOTNSFWfarawaybuttshotssoeasyevenasiangirlscandoitjkjk

Far away butt shots, so easy even Asian girls can do it (jk pls don’t tell Deadspin) (via CB)

 

 

RP-HOTNSFW

I assume it’s the girl on the right but I’d swipe for em both (via RP)

 

 

MC-HOTNSFWusingthebumblegraphictoblockthebuttissuchatease

Using the Bumble graphic to block the butt is a solid tease move (via MC)

 

 

M1

M2-HOTNSFWthisgirlwasmakingthecutbasedonbreastsizealonesothevivalastoolwasanaddedbonus

This girl was making the cut based on breast size alone so the Viva La Stool was just a nice added bonus. Also hopefully this girl’s inevitable takedown request also comes with nudes (via M)

 

 

GM-HOTNSFWitsabareassbutitsfromicelandsoithinkthisisart

It’s a bare ass but it’s from Iceland so I think we all just technically looked at art? (via GM)

 

 

Thanks again to everyone who sent stuff in, follow me and DM me yours, and happy swiping!