FoxNews – It was the day of the prom, and Chris Burwell needed a date. And so he did what any video game lover would do: He took a copy of Super Smash Bros. with him. It was a decision that happened “in the heat of the moment,” he told New York magazine. He had his mother photograph him with the disc in its case, and then was concerned that when he arrived at the prom and was searched for contraband, it would be hard to explain why he was carrying the game. So he removed it from the case. “I put it in my jacket pocket and I just had the disc the whole night,” he said. Burwell posted photographs of himself in a sharp tuxedo and his copy of Super Smash Bros. on Twitter– and since then it’s been retweeted nearly 10,000 times and racked up over 15,000 likes.
You know what? Good for this kid. That game is easily a less annoying/more fun date that any woman could possibly be, anyways. If anything he lined himself up for locking down the coolest chick possible post High School with this exposure. Having a sweet gamer chick would be the greatest thing in the world. I dream of that amazingly fun, laid back girl where a legitimate idea of a good time for her is knockout out a few brews and/or take a couple hits while playing some Mario Kart 64, GoldenEye, or The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. She doesn’t even need to be dime city because the amazing personality will bump her up a solid full point, meaning I’d take a hard Philly 6 (NYC 4, LA 2, Cleveland 28). But that’s just wishful thinking. Pretty sure I’ve a better shot of being blown by leprechaun while riding a unicorn in Narnia before finding that lady who doesn’t exist. Well, until this uber nerd locks her down. Damn you, universe. Somebody out there has to be OK with the scenery on the cheeks.
Now I’m down the rabbit hole, I don’t care what my future wife says, this Mario Kart love song is the first dance at our wedding or else I’ll sleep with a slut bridesmaid before we even cut the cake. It’s embarrassing how much I’m this jam.
PS – I know that clip is old, but how dreadful is Selena Gomez’s voice? Sounds like she’s got a tortoise trying to shit stuck in her throat. Didn’t the Bieb’s teach you how to hit a couple of notes, toots? She better be giving weekly gracias balcuzzi’s to whoever invented autotune.
PPS – If that amazing girl I described above does exist please slide into the ol’ DMs me and I will find a way to find you within the hour. Well, after I verify where not only where you are located but where Chris Hanson is, as well.