Game of Thrones Episode 7 Recap: WE’RE GETTING HYPE!!!!!
Game of Thrones seasons tend to happen in waves. Tension builds in the beginning, there’s a series of the explosions, the dust settles and a few more plot-driven episodes reset the table, then we get an unforgettable finish. The final episodes of any Thrones season never disappoint, to this point we’re 5/5 on getting great ones. With how good this season has been, there’s no reason to believe there won’t be a 6th. After last night, the last two episodes have been well-paced but without much action, a surefire sign that something absolutely insane is going to happen to conclude this season and I cannot wait.
I guess I shouldn’t say “without action” given this episode had one of the most shocking plot twist of the season (I don’t count Jon Snow coming back as “shocking” the same way Golden State coming back against the Thunder isn’t “shocking.” Anyone who even remotely pays attention knows how possible it was that it was going down.) It’s no exaggeration to say the Hound’s reappearance is the single biggest win for the Game of Thrones Internet Fan Community in show history (I can’t believe I just typed that sentence and have ever talked to a girl in my life by the way). Here’s why: One of the crazier theories floating around Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire-dedicated message boards, fan communities and subreddits is something called the CLEGANEBOWL.
The gist of the theory is that given the Hound’s monumental hatred of his brother Gregor Clegane, better known as the Mountain, better known as the guy who crushed Oberyn Martell’s skull, those two have been destined to fight since they were born. HOWEVER, how could this be given the last confirmed sighting of the Mountain was moaning on a bed in excruciating pain from the poison off of Oberyn’s blade pumping through his veins, and the House pathetically pleading Arya to cut his jugular vein? WELL, what if they weren’t dead? The theory goes, what if the hulking silent knight that Qyburn presented Cersei is in fact a reanimated Mountain (confimed)? What if the Hound isn’t really dead and has been rescued (CONFIRMED)? And what if the Mountain’s purpose is to fight for the Lannister in a trial by combat, and the Hound was rescued by forces loyal to the Faith of the Seven (CONFIRMED!!!!!!)? AND WHAT IF THIS MEANS THE MOUNTAIN AND HOUND ARE GOING TO FACE OFF AGAINST ONE ANOTHER IN A TRIAL BY COMBAT TO DECIDE WHO THE SUPREME CLEGANE IS IN THE CLEGANEBOWL BROUGHT TO YOU BY DRAFTKINGS OH MY GOD IT IS SOOOOOO LIT GET HYPE!!!!!
It was a theory that seemed wishful and far-fetched, but now seems plausible if not downright likely. I don’t know who originally came up with Cleganebowl theory but I tip my cap to him/her, I wouldn’t have had the foresight to have called that if you made me watch the show through five times (I know this because I have watched the show around that many times). This outcome is slightly complicated by the fact that the Septon who Clegane was with is now swinging from a wooden beam somewhere. So what is next for the Hound requires a little bit of character analysis and guesswork to predict.
My theory? The Hound has been cruelly mistreated his entire life: his older brother pushed his face against hot coals inspiring a lifelong mutual loathing, everyone around him regards him as a monster and a freak, he had to spend a signifigant amount of time around Joffrey which I would prefer going on vacation in Guantanamo Bay, and even the people who he’s shown a modicum of kindness to (both Stark girls) still regarded him with varying degrees of disgust and fear. How the Hound was treated by the now-dead Septon is the first time we’ve seen him treated with legitimate kindness, and as we have seen more than once, Clegane does have something resembling a heart beneath his brutal exterior. I say Clegane hates the world that made him the animal he is today. Clegane despises how often he sees good people get tampled by the bigger and more powerful forces of evil. And now that he’s been left for dead and wants a second chance at life, he’s prepared to do something about it. Clegane is no longer fighting only for money or pleasure, but with a conscience; it’s ass-kicking time for the Hound, and the people he sees who are wrong with the Universe he inhabits are about to get some vengeance in a big way from him. Remember in Season 1 of True Detective (ya know, the one that wasn’t awful?) when Rust tells Marty “The world needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door.” That’s Sandor, and no one is badder than him.
In the city where his brother resides, Kings Landing, more doings with the High Sparrow are taking place. After creepily pressuring Maergery to “do her duty” to give an heir (hey it’s almost as if the Sparrow isn’t a good person after all but instead a manipulative politician willing to do whatever it takes, who would’ve thought), the Queen has to confront her grandmother to tell her to see the heavenly light. To try to make the Queen of Thorns a religious zealot is a fools errand of hilarious proportions and a complete waste of time; if we know it, her grandchild and pupil knows it too. Maergery uses the opportunity to discreetly slip a note, a drawing of a rose. Look at that rose sort of the same way Needle being buried outside of the House of Black and White was used in the Arya storyline, as a symbol that Maergery on the inside is still a Tyrell, remembers she is a Tyrell, and is doing what she has always done, her duty as a Tyrell. Last week I put forward the theory that the Queen cut a deal with the Sparrow to give him Tommen. Clearly I was wrong, because she feels the need to maintain a façade of holiness in front of him. But Maergery is still unbroken, and if she is who we think she is, has some sort of plan to get herself out of the situation she finds herself in. What her priorities are is predictable, secure Loras, consolidate political power, rid Kings Landing of the Faith Militant. How she plans to do that with no trick up her sleeve as far as I can see, no fighting forces, no dirt on the Sparrow (yet), no freedom to travel, I have no clue. I’m also not as smart as she is, so unless she’s just buying herself time, maybe she’s seeing something that I’m not.
We’re going to get to the other three storylines in the form of bullet-points before getting to the last one to move this along so your boss doesn’t notice you’ve been reading your screen to long to be entering Excel spreadsheets or the toilet bowl doesn’t cut off circulation to your legs.
– Bronnn being back is incredible and is an injection of attitude into the show that is always welcome. Seeing him whip the JV operation that is the Freys into shape will be fun. The Blackfish should be careful not to underestimate Jaime though; he might see him as a pretty-boy Kingslayer, but it was Jaime who spent most of the first season conquering and covering himself in glory in the Riverlands. He’s smart and experienced, and much like the Blackfish, isn’t afraid to die. I hope the stalemate between the two sides doesn’t continue into next season and we see a clash between the Tully and Lannister forces in some form.
– Theon drinking on command like a college freshman trying to impress older kids shows that the “OBEY” switch is still installed in his brain, even if the finger on it is now his sister’s instead of Ramsay. Theon became increasingly more like Theon as he spent time with Sansa, but since his transition to the Iron Islands, he has since regressed to being more Reek-like. My theory for why is that he is still grappling with the enormous amount of guilt he has from his betrayal and the only way to come to terms with it and resolve it is to serve the Starks the family he so gruesomely betrayed. The more time he spends away from them, the more disassociated and subservient to others he comes. I still think dying for the Starks is his ultimate destiny and the death he wants for himself. How it’s going to happen I just don’t know yet.
– If Arya was going to die, she’d already be dead. Why would you have a cliffhanger for someone collapsing of a stab wound? Feels lame. How Arya survives bleeding out in a city where no one could care less about her? Dunno. Vaguely feel like her only friend, Jaqan, will have something to do with it.
And finally, there a lot of political dealings going on in the North as Jon and Sansa try to amass a force that gives them a prayer of beating the Boltons. So far things are going…not great. The Wildling support was needed and will be an enormous boost (turns out people who don’t bend the knee have more of a sense of loyalty those who are sworn to, who knew?) but without something approaching a majority of Northern support, the Stark insurrection is probably doomed.
The main problem Sansa and Jon have, which was illustrated well with House Glover, is that the last time the Starks called upon the North, they lost and they lost badly. Pretty much everyone who is still alive in the North is lucky to be that way, spared by the Boltons, Freys, or Lannisters. When you call upon your bannermen to put themselves on a line for you, throw is away because of a marriage (which was incredibly selfish by Robb, Nicholas Sparks-esque as it might have been), and they almost lose everything, it’s a tough sell to ask someone to do that again. That’s a charge and a reasoning that is extremely valid, and something Jon and Sansa don’t really have an answer for. Unless they are able to prove life is markedly better in the North under Stark rather than Bolton rule AND that they have a realistic chance of not only winning but maintaining their foothold on power, they’ll probably be met mostly with (totally justified) dismissive skepticism and a lingering resentment against the Starks.
Luckily, convincer-in-chief Davos was able to procure a small force from the Mormonts. He was able to do this by appealing to the looming threat of the White Walkers, a unifying threat that will bring the living together against the dead, sort of like how an alien invasion would be our best chance at world peace. This will be interesting line for the showrunners to toe. Many fans already dismay about how the White Walkers presence makes the rest of the show events seem relatively meaningless; who cares who sits on the Iron Thrones, or in Winterfell, or in Mereen is it’s all about to be overrun by Ice Zombies anyway? How they underscore the huge importance of the White Walkers without diminishing any of the other plotlines, other than just using our emotional attachment to the characters involved, will be tricky.
Our last shot of the Starks is Sansa penning a letter. What was the letter? Luckily we have our handy-dandy screenshot tool.
“FORFEIT” is the only word I can make out, but maybe some of you grew up Amish, have more experience reading parchment and will have better luck. My best guess is she’s writing to Creepy Petyr Baelish, appealing to his very real sense of guilt over what he put her through (he told her the truth about Riverrun! I mean he might get over the guilt and stab her in the back someday but hey that’s something!) to get the Knights of the Vale on her side. Assorted Northern forces, the Knights of the Vale, and Wildlings. It’s a great start, but I think there is one piece missing to be added to truly be a formidable threat to take a place as well-fortified and fiercely defended as Winterfell. But it’s about to go down partner, and I’m Bart Scott and can’t wait to see it all go down.
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