BarstoolSam’s Semi-Official Preview of USMNT vs Colombia

Sams Army6/03/2016 6:40 PM

Sam’s Soccer Safe Space For Stoolies – USMNT Preview Edition

Hello haters,

“Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike… what daaaaaaaaaaaaay is it?”

That’s right, Leslie, it is “Everybody Starts Caring About Soccer For A Month” day here in America… WHOOP WHOOOOOOOP!

And oh what a joyous occasion it is! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the red/white/blue paraphernalia is out in full force. There’s nothing like a little international sporting competition to whip up the nationalist fervor in all of our hearts. Show me someone who doesn’t recall a single teardrop making its way down his or her cheek while listening to the Star Spangled Banner and I’ll show you a god damn ISIS sympathizer. I will watch the shit out of some synchronized diving if and American is in the hunt for a gold medal

so you can bet your ASS that I am giddier than a schoolgirl on her birthday about the fact we are about to get balls deep in some USA soccer action.

The big question of the day – aside from how Donald Trump and/or Budweiser will attempt to divert our love of country for their own (similar? different?) sordid means – is has the US Men’s National Team finally, mercifully, at long last turned the corner? Today’s game against a Colombian team that comes in ranked #4 in the world should be a good litmus test.

Sorry “Tastes Great”… “Less Filling” has my vote

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USMNT

Finally. The gloriousness of Copa America hath done arrived. I wrote a comprehensive preview of the tournament, full of predictions to make you more attractive to the ladies (ie, wealthier), so do yourself a favor and read/look at the pretty pictures if you have not already:

Link to: FULL COPA AMERICA PREVIEW BLOG

So is everybody familiarized with the goings-on of the whole shebang? Good, great, GRAND. Now let’s get our mind right for tonight’s all-important game…

USA [+195]
Colombia [+150]
Draw [+215]

First things first, Colombia is good. Damn good. Perhaps not quite fourth-best-team-in-the-world-good, but solidly top 10. The big question is whether Jurgen Klinsmann does what he usually does against solidly top 10 teams and play an overly defensive line-up (while simultaneously chastising his own team for lacking belief), or if he has finally developed enough confidence in the squad to unleash the hounds a little bit… it seems pretty obvious from the various setups and subs he made in the tune-up games that this is the most likely starting XI:

I say “most likely” because Klinsmann has developed a real knack for throwing a ‘wut da fuq?” changeup into the mix at the last minute, which may be his way of demonstrating his tactical ingenuity but usually it just comes off as a successful attempt to outthink and overthink himself.

The big question marks:

BEDOYA vs BECKERMAN? There is a distinct possibility that JK will decide to slide in Kyle Beckerman for Alejandro Bedoya. In fact the coach kinda sorted hinted at it after the Bolivia game. However, I have said it before and will probably (unfortunately) have to say it again… Beckerman has been a good soldier for the US over the years, and I thank him for his service, but his lack of pace and playmaking nous is out of sync with the USMNT 2.0 that Klinsmann has been preaching for years. Including Bedoya puts a little more pressure on Jermaine Jones to be more aware defensively, especially against a team like Colombia, but I think he can handle it.

IS BROOKS READY? I like playing Matt Besler (age 29) next to Geoff Cameron but JK has made it clear that he thinks Brooks (age 23) is the future, and the future is apparently now. Brooks has played well in the recent friendlies, even scoring a goal against Bolivia, but at the same time he has not been tested at all. That will change tonight.

4-4-3 or 4-4-2? I am not a huge “formation” guy. Players should be able to work within an adaptable system, and whether you refer to Gyasi Zardes as a forward or an attacking midfielder should not make a huge difference since his work rate and athleticism means you should be able to count on him for at least a little defensive mindfulness. However, if JK reverts from the 4-3-3 the team has looked good in back to the tried and true “4-4-2” that – to me anyway – sends a signal that he is not all that confident. Fuck that. Show some balls. Give me 4-4-3 or give me death.

SHOULD WONDO START?

CAN WE CONTAIN JAMES? That depends, are we talking the James Rodriguez of 2015-16 Real Madrid or the James Rodriguez of World Cup 2014? The former, maybe. The latter, ruh rohhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Prediction: USA to win 2-1.