UPROXX- Watching Game of Thrones on television is fun, but sometimes you want to truly experience the magic of being in the show. How many times have you stared off into the distance and thought “man, I would really like to do that naked walk of shame Cersei did without using a body double?” Good news: Thanks to The Bunny Ranch, you can make all of those fantasies (and more) come true. For an extra fee, you can even have your sexual activities spied on by the people running the place!
The idea to provide the Game of Thrones experience came to business owner Dennis Hof after he realized that A) Game of Thrones is very popular (surprise!) and B) that lots of the ladies he works with are actually big fans of the show and can provide both the sex and the realistic role-playing required to make everything seem real.
From a press release regarding the brothel’s new offerings:
“Every Sunday, I invite the girls to my house for a Game Of Thrones watching party, and the storylines often end up carrying over into our bedroom activities. We enjoy having our own afterparty, and I want to share that experience with the clients of my brothels who also happen to be fans of the show.”
An absolutely brilliant move by that smut peddler Dennis Hof. Even that snake motherfucker Littlefinger nods in approval. Nothing gets the blood flowing like an “N” in the ratings box before Game of Thrones. You start to wonder how that glorious reveal is going to happen. A Khaleesi tit? A Cersei ass shot? Or maybe, by the old gods and the new, a full-blown Margaery walk of atonement. But to watch an entire episode while you snuggling up to some lookalike and then getting to act out whatever (hopefully not too weird) shit just happened on the show is a Thrones nerd’s wet dream.
And I know HBO was pissed at PornHub for having sex scenes from the show on their site. But the Bunny Ranch doing this is a win/win for HBO. It gets eyeballs on Game of Thrones for people who may be at the Bunny Ranch and have never watched the show. And it creates #content for Cathouse at the same time. Is Cathouse even still around? Well if not, Cathouse is back! Cross-show cameos are always a big hit. It’s like when Steve Urkel showed up on Full House. Synergy is a big corporate buzz word, and you cannot have better synergy than Khaleesi’s boobs appearing on two different shows (whether they are Emelia Clarke’s or some random hookers’ boobs). There are only so many times people want to see Air Force Amy playing the role of Air Force Amy. Diversify that IMDB page, girl! And if any of the actresses that played Thrones characters need a paycheck, Cathouse should welcome them with open arms and full-time jobs (I’m looking at you, Mrs. Robb Stark).