Every year around this time I get so excited about the beginning of warm weather, sun dress season, and the final melting of depression from winter that I forget about the most important thing for the next three months. The return of white shorts, pants, and dresses coming back. I don’t know what it is about that color on girls, but it simply moves the needle. Just like having a view of the water or staring into a fireplace is so great. There is nothing about it that should be so hypnotizing, but every time I see a girl in white during the summer, I go into an instant daze. It has to be something primal and deep-rooted in the human DNA.
Which is why every Memorial Day should include a party at Drake’s house that ends with chicks in white throwing haymakers. As somebody that loved food and football growing up (not much has changed obviously), Thanksgiving is the ultimate holiday. Turkey and sides as far as the eye can see, followed by a few NFL games. But back in the day, the capper to Thanksgiving was The Survivor Series, which used to be on Thanksgiving night. A bunch of fights involving teams of four and Miss Elizabeth’s sexy ass giving all the young kids butterflies in their stomach was the best. So Drake setting up fights like this every year as the headliner of his party would be the perfect way to trick people into forgetting that he is the Raptors unofficial mascot following their annual pre-MDW exit from the playoffs.