Thor and deGrom were on ESPN today flooding every chick’s basement with their luscious locks. One blond, one brown. One more of a surfer flow, the other one more like a 90s rock star. Together they comprise the best hair in the league. If Tolo and Thor are the Bash Bros, Jake and Thor are the Flow Bros.
Obviously teammates but you know amongst them theres that healthy competition between them as to who has the better lettuce. I mean you dont grow your hair out like that in the first place unless you think you have the best hair. Not like one of them wakes up and combs that hair thinking “Damn, its really great to have the second best hair on the team.” So that little surrender from Noah on ESPN today was nothing more than a pity concession. Hes a great teammate and knows how to play the game in the public eye. “Oh yea Jake has the best hair and hes the number 1 ace on this staff” as Noah steps to the mound with golden locks rustling in the wind as he strikes out 12. Dont be fooled by some friendly banter on TV. Noah will tell you that his hair shits all over deGroms cocker spaniel flow.
So who do you got? Noah’s hair or deGroms? I think I gotta go Thor. Degrom’s hair at the bottom looks like a giant bush. I feel birds and sticks and leaves and shit could stuck inside that giant puff. I feel like Juanny Beisbol could hang out inside that mess. Thor has that classic long blonde hair like hes a Cali dude or something. Time to vote: