Telegraph- A mother in India has given birth to a 15-pound baby girl, believed to be the heaviest female infant ever born. The child weighs the same amount as the average six-month-old and is reportedly twice the size of the average baby. The baby, who is unnamed, was delivered by cesarean section to her 19-year-old mother, known only as Nandini. Doctors believe her weight overtakes the alleged current record holder, Carisa Rusack, who was born weighing 14lb 5oz in Massachusetts in 2014. Dr Venkatesh Raju, the local health officer, said: “In my 25 years of experience, I had never seen such a big baby. “She is a miracle. I believe she is not only the heaviest baby born in India but the heaviest baby girl ever born in the world.”
Alright so 15 pounds is a big fucking baby. 15 pounds is a huge fucking baby actually. That’s a full pound heavier than I was when I was born but I’m sorry to say it doesn’t count. No way no how does it count. Why? Well because it happened in India so that’s not even fair. India is like a whole different world when it comes to shit like this. At least twice a week you see stories come out of India that read, “Human Born With A Horses Body” or “Man Seen Walking Around With Feet The Size Of Cinderblocks” A 15-pound baby is a slow day in India. A place like that can’t be considered when determining the fattest babies. It’s cheating. If that baby had been born literally anywhere else in the world then I would admit defeat and give up the Fat Baby crown. But I will not admit defeat because a fatter baby was born in India. That’s not a fair fight in the slightest.
Don’t believe me? Here are some other India examples
I rest my case. Now cue my mother fucking music.