If Lebron Doesn't Fuck Rihanna Then He Needs His Head Checked

Screen Shot 2016-05-20 at 2.50.47 PM

 

 

 

 

Hate or love Lebron, this is every guy’s fantasy: Rihanna essentially inviting you to put white cream all over her stomach. That’s a BAD GIRL move. Doesn’t care that he’s got a wife and kids and playoffs to focus on, RiRi just wants to let Lebron know that she’s down. And make no mistake about it, that’s what this is. I’m not trying to pretend I’m an expert of the female species, I’m quite the opposite, but I know the tech signs: emojis, excessive exclamation points, and tagging you as the sunscreen on her exposed stomach. Rihanna got a temporary Lebron tattoo that read “you here,” if that’s not letting you know she’s interested then what is?

 

 

So Lebron needs to go home and tell his wife he’s fucking Rihanna just once. I don’t care if they have a “happy family” or “don’t have a prenup,” it’s something you need to do as a man. When the singer of S&M invites you into her lady garden then all moral or legal obligations to family go into a homeless man’s trash fire. RiRi just threw a fastball right down the plate and dared Mrs. James to do something about it. No way she’s got the bat speed.

 

 

Think what you will about Lebron, but for her for me, dude. Fuck her for all of us.

 

 

 

 

 

Hopefully one of his Cavs teammates tells him about this because there’s just no way he’s seeing it during Zero Dark Thirty Twenty Three, but I wouldn’t put it past JR Smith to buy a Lebron mask and show up at Rihanna’s door tonight.