This Tinder Girl With A Big Butt Has One Weird Demand For Something Guys Should Find Attractive

EWwcur2

 

Well then. I guess this one is a big win for the Jezebel crowd too, women poop and they FUCKING LOVE IT. But for me, for all of the chick empowering things that are around, hearing women embrace fecal humor is not something I need in my life. Equal pay, equal jobs, all good. But the shit disparity should last from now until the end of time. That booty is tremendous but now you see it and it’s just giant morning logs flying out of it. Plus demanding you find it “attractive” is overall a weird move. Not finding a chick with morning shits to be unattractive, that’s fine if she’s not blabbing about it. But finding it “attractive” sounds like a situation where you’re going in there and sniffing the seat before she flushes or loading her up with Metamucil to make sure she hits her quotas. No thank you ma’am.

 

And good thing you already clicked before reading that disgusting opening paragraph in this week’s Tinder/Bumble/etc roundup! We’re just a week out from Memorial Day THANK GOD so let’s cruise through to the last weekend before summer officially starts. Please do follow me on Twitter (I’m so close to 20K, make me feel pretty kind Internet people) and DM me your screenshots…I’ll be taking next Friday off the Tinder blog due to everyone being gone for the holiday but we’ll go big the following week. And without further adieu, let’s get to the roundup.

 
 

Cass

(via Cass)

 

BLB-IfeellikemostofourNEreaderswouldagree

I feel like most of our New England based readers and employees would agree (via BLB)

 

 

WS

Hopefully not a preview of your first date (via WS)

 

 

MK-nonoleavethethirdtittyon

In the throes of passion he whispered, “No no. Leave the third titty on” (via MK)

 

 

RG-hugourtroops

Supporting our troops sometimes means giving them a hug when life gets them down too (hit him up on Instagram ladies, @groves_2) (via RG)

 

 

 

DLC-thehardestofhardpasses

The hardest of hard passes from this intrepid Internet dating app reporter (via DLC)

 

 

JT-dontlaughuntilyouvehadmothrapussy

Don’t laugh until you’ve had Mothra pussy (via JT)

 

Dave-infairnessmostbbwswoulddomostofthatprofile

In fairness most BBWs would do at least 50% of those (via Dave)

 

 

 

whiskeybear-yourcompetitionfortheweekischarliewiscoifthestartedtheblankafromstreetfighterexperimentonhimbutgaveupafteranhour

Your competition for the week is Charlie Wisco if they started the Blanka from Street Fighter transformation on him but just gave up after an hour (via Whiskey Bear)

 

 

Me-sothingseemtobegoingwellhere

So things seem to be going well here (via ME)

 

 

RC-titsoutfortheliteralbabyboyswhenyourerosietheriveterontheyeswecanad

Tits out for the literal baby boys is how you live when you’re dressed like Rosie The Riveter (via RC)

 

 

DCR-honestycanbeanoverratedquality

Honesty can be an overrated quality (via DCR)

 

 

BC-onlytheprettiesteyesgettodealwiththebreastmilk

Only the prettiest eyes get to deal with the breast milk apparently (via BC)

 

 

corb-INSERTSUMMERTIMESADNESS

(via Corb)

 

 

CT-ASurvivorgirlthatsanewone

A Survivor girl, that’s a new one (via CT)

 

 

B-noracistbutifeellikehergrandmawouldsayohlawdyreadingthisbio

#noracist but I feel like her grandma would say “OH LAWDY” reading this bio (via B)

 

 

DH-ironicallythatshowyourdickwouldfeelaftersexwithher

Ironically that’s how your dick would feel after sex with her (via DH)

 

 

 

BS-bumblesgotajoedimaggiostreakgoingwithcheerleadersinthisblog

Bumble’s got a Joe DiMaggio streak going with cheerleaders in this blog (via BS)

 

 

CVA-PAIRWITHCHEERLEADERandtheyhaveprocrossfittersifyourethetypewholikesabigclitiguess

..And they have professional CrossFitters too if you’re the type who likes a big clit I guess (via CVA)

 

 

 

DN-HOTNSFWidadvocategettingcheckedforayeastinfectionmaam

I’d advocate getting checked for a yeast infection ma’am (via DN)

 

 

Colonel-rimjobsandblumpkinsgirlsthesedaysgrowupandlearndisgustingthingswiththeirmouthssofast

Rim jobs and blumpkins at 19, girls these days grow up and learn disgusting things with their mouths so fast (via Colonel)

 

 

JG1

JG2-feelsalittlelikegettingintoalimowithrollergirlinboogienightsbutyouvegottotry

Feels a little like getting into a limo with Rollergirl in Boogie Nights but you’ve got to try (via JG)

 

 

JDA1

JDA2

JDA3-doesthisgirljustlovethedogfiltersomuchordoesshereallywanteveryonetoknowshesaho

Does this girl love the dog filter that much or does she really want everyone to know she’s a ho? (via JDA)

 

 

ES1

ES2

ES3-perfectprofileandimnotsayingthatjustbecauseilikenotgettingstds

Perfect profile and I’m not saying that just because I like not getting STDs (via ES)

 

 

DS-LATindersoundsaboutright

For LA Tinder this sounds about right (via DS)

 

 
 

JOC-MAYBELEAD

(via JOC)

 

 
 

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

 

 

JM-whoknewabodybycheddarbiscuitscouldbesogood

Who knew a body by cheddar biscuits could be so good? (via JM)

 

J-ifindthisverystylishandthinkmorewomenshouldwearthisregularly

I find this very stylish and think more women should wear similar shirts regularly (via J)

 

 

B-theamountsofdadsmasturbatingaftergoingtothispreschoolmustbehorrifying

The amount of dads masturbating after dropping off kids at this preschool must be horrifying (via B)

 

 

 

CC-HOTNSFwthathatabssunglassescombocouldntbemoreim43andstillsexy

That hat, abs, and sunglasses combo couldn’t be more of a “I’m 43 and want the world to know I’m still sexy” starter pack (via CC)

 

 

MH-HOTNSFWnotsureifitsthetanbutshesgotsomesolidcheeksgoing

Not sure if it it’s just the tan but she’s got some solid cheeks going (via MH)

 

 

Corb-HOTNSFWtonkatrunkleveldumper

(via Corb)

 

 

AT-HOTNSFWLASTinsertkylesmom

(via AT)

 

 

J-HOTNSFWAretherekyliesouttherethatarentsexy

Are there Kylies out there who aren’t incredibly sexy? Because I’ve never seen one (via J)

 

 

ZD1

ZD2-HOTNSFWweirdbutnipples

Weird. But nipples are nipples (via ZD)

 

 

MC-HOTNSFWlucyhaswaytoomuchofasenseofironyforalsohavingtitsthatamazing

Lucy has way too much of a sense of irony for also having tits that amazing (via MC)

 

 

WS-HOTNSFWletsplayguesswhothisprobablyfakeprofileofaninstagrammodelactuallyis

Let’s play Guess Who This Probably Fake Profile of an Instagram Model Actually Is (via WS)

 

 

EG-HOTNSFWnipsandthatgymnastbuildisayesforthisguy

Nips and that gymnast build is a yes for this guy (via EG)

 

 

JC-HOTNSFWbigbuttsowhatindeed

Big butt so what indeed (via JC)

 

 

And there we have it, another week in the books. Follow me on Twitter and send me your screenshots and I’ll see you all after Memorial Day. And of course, happy swiping!