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The Falcons New Stadium Will Have Reasonable Prices Including $2 Sodas, $2 Hot Dogs, And $5 Beers

What in the world is this???? Reasonable prices that people can afford at a sporting event? Stop it. Stop it right now. I’m mindfucked. Seriously, this has to be a misprint:

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2 bucks and refillable? Pretty sure that’s cheaper than a soda at McDonalds. How are they going to pay for Matt Ryan to underperform when they are giving away soda for free?

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$2 for a bottle of water hasn’t been seen since Woodstock. This bottle of water costs I believe 6 bucks at FedEx Field and they twist off the cap and spit in it before they hand it to you (per Dan Snyder’s orders).

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I’m irrationally upset about this. Out of every food price that makes me mad at stadiums, nothing pisses me off more than hot dog prices, because everyone should be able to enjoy a hot dog and not pay 8 dollars for one fucking measly hot dog. I honestly think they should give hot dogs away for free at sporting events, just to add to the ambiance. $2 is a nice compromise.

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The funniest thing about being excited about $5 beers is that we are genuinely excited about $5 cups of Miller Lite as if that’s some sort of good deal. But compared to $11 (expired) beers at Fed Ex, sign me the fuck up.

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Now this, this is the steal of the century. Tenders and fries will run you $14 at most places. And these are waffle fries to boot. All for $6.

It’s almost as if they did some math and realized people are going to buy more food in the stadium if it’s more affordable. It’s about atmosphere. It’s about getting the middle class family in the door, and wanting them to come back. Nothing pisses people off more than paying out their asshole for mediocre food. But you often have no choice, people get hungry. Paying $14 for frozen chicken fingers, no matter how much money you have, just pains the soul. You feel yourself slowly die when they charge you $11 for 1 beer, full knowing you could buy a case for just a few bucks more. Somewhere Dan Snyder is trying to kick the Falcons out of the league for being reasonable. He’s going to have night terrors about this. Treating fans with respect and letting them leave your stadium with their dignity? GTFO!