I'm Funding Quite The Lifestyle For A Criminal In The South Right Now
Some dude keeps stealing all of my money. Last week it was some dude in Nashville running around withdrawing from ATMs, this week he’s in Atlanta running up charges like a college kid with an “in case of emergencies” card from mom and dad. I don’t really understand it because I have my debit card, but somehow he does too. I went into Bank of America last week and they told me it wasn’t a card issue, which seems to be the wrong answer since my card was being used in Nashville yet was also in my pocket in Boston, but I believed them. Took their word for it and walked out the door.
Well today I got refunded all the Nashville payments as well as pay day. I know I had it all because I watch that shit like a hawk. The lifestyle difference from payday to night before next payday is a glaring one, so before I’m supposed to get paid I’m sitting in front of the computer with a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of water, refreshing my statement page like a crack addict scratches. I need that money so I can order a late night pizza since I haven’t really eaten in 48 hours. According to my spending habits I go from “hey, big spender” to “seriously do you want welfare?” in biweekly cycles.
This guy knows that, I guess. Me and him both sit at our computers every two weeks like sneakerheads waiting for a new drop, only we’re waiting for me to get paid. Then the race is on. Who can spend my money the fastest?
Guess what? He’s kicking my ass right now.
Not even three PM on Friday and I’m basically cleaned out. I’m not even mad, at all. It’s hysterical. Some fraud expert just waits for me to get paid then takes it all, then waits for that refund to get paid and takes it all. Honestly I hope he’s living it up. Bank of America is pretty good about getting my money back to me so it’s really only a slight bother to me, if he’s getting all that tax free then good for him. Just hope he’s tipping his bartenders and strippers handsomely. Don’t be a stingy dickhead with my money, criminal man.