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Pakistani Man Seeking Political Asylum Because His Mustache Is Too Fab And Keeps Getting Him Kidnapped

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(Newser) – Now that’s a stache: Pakistani businessman Malik Amir Mohammad Khan Afridi sports a 30-inch moustache that he calls his pride and joy—but admits could get him killed, the Independent reports. “People give me a lot of respect,” says Afridi, who spends $150 monthly to treat the Daliesque lip hair with soaps and oils. “It’s my identity. … I’d even sacrifice food, but not the moustache. It’s my life. It’s not part of my life. It is my life.” Note that in South Asia, dramatic facial hair is often associated with male virility.

But Islamic extremists consider it an insult, and Afridi says they kidnapped him after he refused to pay a $500 monthly protection bill. They freed him once he shaved it off, but the father of ten moved from the Khyber district to Peshawar and grew it back. Phone threats followed, so he moved south to Punjab. Now he’s hoping the moustache will open the door to political asylum. “My first choice would be an Islamic country such as Dubai,” he told a journalist. “But I also willing to go to countries such as the US, Canada, or Britain. “

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Travesty of justice. Those are the words that come to mind when I read this story. You think Malik Amir Mohammad Khan Afridi likes looking awesome all the time? Having everyone eye his mustache, wanting to kidnap his ass becuase it’s so fucking fabulous? No, fuck no. But that’s what people without a stache don’t understand. It’s not a choice, it’s a lifestyle. It’s our identity. And to be persecuted for who you are is an absolute tragedy. I don’t want to say we need to start one of those Trayvon Martin type viral campaigns but we sort of need to right? #WeAreAllMalikAmirMohammadKhanAfridi. Rolls right off the tongue.

 

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Even wrote it on my blogging shoes like an NBA player

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PS

“But I’m also willing to go to countries such as the US”.

 

Oh you’ll also take America? What a saint this guy is. He guesses he’ll take the greatest country in the world if Dubai isn’t available. Don’t play games with me Malik, I’m literally the only person in the world that has your back right now.