Alright so this question came up last night, and to be honest I’m probably the hardest on ESPN around here so I thought I would flip the script and actually be positive about the mothership for a change. So here we go. I’m separating this into two different 3 man squads. 1 is strictly analysts, so not guys that played sports and the other is ex-athletes.
Analyst Drinking Squad
1. SVP – no brainer. First pick all the way. Not only does he generally seem like a good guy but he’s also a Stoolie. He is one of the last people at ESPN that I actively seek out. I want to know what he’s thinking on a subject, I want to hear his radio show, that is extremely rare. Also I’m pretty sure SVP would be a FANTASTIC wingman.
2. John Clayton – 1 to see if the pony tail is real, 2 because he’s John Fucking Clayton.
Ma, I’m done with my segment!!!!
3. John Buccigross – Hockey guy, Bucci mane, oh and he rocks a SICK chain.
-Tim Kurkjian – just to hear his drunk laugh
-Suzy Kolber – Because I too would like to kiss her
-John Sutcliffe – Guy’s a beast, straight up
-Tony Reali – Stoolie
-Roger Cossack – Never hurts to have a lawyer around.
-Jeff Van Gundy – Big JVG guy
-Darren Rovell – JK, rather kill myself.
Ex-Athlete Drinking Squad
1. John Kruk – He’s like a slightly more polished John Daly. Eat 1,000 buffalo wings, drink 10,000 budweisers and grab 1 million boobs. That’s how I envision a night out with Kruk.
2. Ditka – With Ditka and Kruk I’m not sure if this is a drinking or eating team but I’m down either way.
3. Jalen Rose – Stories on top of stories on top of stories
-Kirk Herbstreit – For sure lays wood
-Teddy Atlas – No one has a good boxing guy anymore
-Mark Schlereth – Nickname is stink, that’s a good guy to have in your crew.
-Alexei Lallas – So we can talk about how big soccer is about to be in America.
There it is. Not a bad group of guys in those two groups. Anyone I miss?