The 3 ESPN Analysts You Would Most Like To Party With


Alright so this question came up last night, and to be honest I’m probably the hardest on ESPN around here so I thought I would flip the script and actually be positive about the mothership for a change. So here we go. I’m separating this into two different 3 man squads. 1 is strictly analysts, so not guys that played sports and the other is ex-athletes.



Analyst Drinking Squad

1. SVP – no brainer. First pick all the way. Not only does he generally seem like a good guy but he’s also a Stoolie. He is one of the last people at ESPN that I actively seek out. I want to know what he’s thinking on a subject, I want to hear his radio show, that is extremely rare. Also I’m pretty sure SVP would be a FANTASTIC wingman.

van pelt


2. John Clayton – 1 to see if the pony tail is real, 2 because he’s John Fucking Clayton.
Ma, I’m done with my segment!!!!


3. John Buccigross – Hockey guy, Bucci mane, oh and he rocks a SICK chain.



Honorable Mentions

-Tim Kurkjian – just to hear his drunk laugh

-Suzy Kolber – Because I too would like to kiss her

-John Sutcliffe – Guy’s a beast, straight up

-Tony Reali – Stoolie

-Roger Cossack – Never hurts to have a lawyer around.

-Jeff Van Gundy – Big JVG guy

-Darren Rovell – JK, rather kill myself.



Ex-Athlete Drinking Squad


1. John Kruk – He’s like a slightly more polished John Daly. Eat 1,000 buffalo wings, drink 10,000 budweisers and grab 1 million boobs. That’s how I envision a night out with Kruk.



2. Ditka – With Ditka and Kruk I’m not sure if this is a drinking or eating team but I’m down either way.



3. Jalen Rose – Stories on top of stories on top of stories



Honorable Mentions

-Kirk Herbstreit – For sure lays wood

-Teddy Atlas – No one has a good boxing guy anymore

-Mark Schlereth – Nickname is stink, that’s a good guy to have in your crew.

-Alexei Lallas – So we can talk about how big soccer is about to be in America.



There it is. Not a bad group of guys in those two groups. Anyone I miss?