Andrew Took Your Girl

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My family’s in Santa Monica this week to visit my Greek cousin who’s here for a urology convention. But foreign penis care is not why I’m writing this. This trip means I get to spend some rare time with my little brother Andrew. I don’t really want this to get to his head or have him think he’s famous so I’m not telling him this is being written. But Good Lord look how this guy dresses. It’s unprecedented. He’s 13 years old and looks like he’s about to go cohost a E! fashion critique with Johnny Weir. This picture is just me catching him during breakfast this morning and he looks like he’s about to infiltrate a SoCal middle school just to let these 7th grade Cali bros they don’t have it like him. Bryson Tiller Hat. Some type of women’s sweatshirt. Is that a Vineyard Vines long sleeve underneath? Hit all the demographics young boy! Slight work with the Adidas Boosts and then some neon orange socks just in case you thought that he thought that he needed to match. Not even going to bring up the subtly swaggy shorts with Indian Chief heads floating around on them. What is that bowl he is carrying for? Cereal or accessory?? I don’t even know. He’s got the juice. ALL of it. There’s just no way around it. I feel terrible for the guy in the background who looked at Andrew and then looked at himself. His day’s done.

Live updates as the week continues.