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The Only Thing That Can Stop This Red Sox Offense Is An Apocalyptic Event

Are you starting to believe in this Red Sox team yet? You should probably get on board now before it becomes trendy.

Please spare me the counter point that they haven’t played any good teams. Newsflash: Pretty much the entire American League sucks. All the measuring sticks are in the National League. There are only two other teams in the American League, aside from the Boston Red Sox, that have at least 20 wins. One is the Seattle Mariners, who the Red Sox don’t see until the first week of August, so who knows if they’ll even still be good by then. And the other team is the Chicago White Sox, who the Red Sox just took two out of three from, with Clay Buchholz, who hadn’t won a game all year, and Henry Owens, who is in Pawtucket right now, on the mound for the two wins. And the one game they lost was with the guy who is fourth in the majors in ERA right now. When you put it like that, it’s kinda hard not to be feeling pretty good about this Red Sox team, no?

Okay, let’s continue to cater to the skeptics here for another minute. If you thought that Boston’s biggest flaw would be their starting pitching, you win a prize. Red Sox starters have the highest ERA out of any of the teams in the American League East. But guess what? It doesn’t really matter that Red Sox starters have allowed four and a half runs per game when Boston’s American League-leading offense is averaging five and a half runs per game. Do the math.

Now, is that sustainable? No, I don’t think it is. For the Red Sox to average 5.5 runs per game for the entire season, they’d have to score 891 runs, which is exactly what the Toronto Blue Jays scored last year to lead the majors by a large margin. So, point for the skeptics. It will be very unlikely for the Red Sox to actually keep up this torrid pace, offensively. But, the counter for that is that while the runs per game will come down, so will the runs allowed per game by Red Sox starters. You’re out of your mind if you think that David Price won’t get it going at some point, and the addition of Eduardo Rodriguez only further supports the theory that the rotation will get better.

It’s division or bust for the Red Sox. Yeah, I said it. May 11, and I’m saying that if the Red Sox don’t win the American League East in 2016 that this year will be a disappointment. Sure, it’d be nice to win a Wild Card spot, and even just sniff the postseason after back-to-back last place finishes. But this Red Sox team is better than the competition within the division. The goal for the team itself is always going to be to win the division, but the expectations from the fans should also now be set on winning the division.

Anyway, onto the actual game. The A’s suck, huh? Boston sent out something called Sean O’Sullivan to the mound on Tuesday night, and this fuckin’ guy threw up five goose eggs before getting tagged for four runs in the sixth. Good thing the Red Sox were already up 11-0 before he got out there, though. Phew.

Remember how people were freaking out about the lack of home runs that the Red Sox were hitting? They’ve now homered in 11 straight games, and have hit 24 home runs in their last 15 games. The three home runs that the Red Sox hit on Tuesday night came off the bats of Mookie Betts, who led off the game with a home run, Hanley Ramirez, who hit the second longest home run in the majors this year at 468 feet, and Travis Shaw, who took a left-handed pitcher deep to the opposite field. I need to buy John Farrell a “Thank You” cake for cutting the shit, and not pinch hitting for Shaw against lefties anymore.


Also, HUGE shout out to Fenway Park DJ, TJ Connelly, for playing Keep Their Heads Ringin’ after the Mayor of Ding Dong City hit a three-run ding dong in the bottom of the fifth inning. The Mayor went 3-for-4 with 5 RBIs on Tuesday night to boost his average at Fenway Park this year to .387 with a 1.135 OPS, and he’s now hitting .322 with a .928 OPS on the season overall. Buy a shirt.


By the way, the people who were trying to discredit this hose job by Jackie Bradley Jr. because of how slow of a runner Billy Butler is need to fuck off. Ryan Hanigan had time to watch The Lord of the Rings before he slapped the tag on him, and the throw got there IN THE AIR. In the air. Bradley also extended his hitting streak to 16 games after going 2-for-4, while he’s hitting .390 with a 1.215 OPS and 11 extra-base hits during the streak.

With their 13-run ass beating against the A’s, the Red Sox passed the St. Louis Cardinals for the most runs scored in the majors, and now only trail the big, bad Chicago Cubs for the top spot. The Red Sox have now scored 183 runs, while the Cubs have plated 192 of their own. This is the first time that the Red Sox have been seven games over .500 this season, and they’ve now won 12 of their last 16 games.

Final score: Red Sox 13, Athletics 5

Shameless plug: I’ll be talking Red Sox with Zolak and Bertrand today at 10:50am on 985 The Sports Hub. LISTEN LIVE HERE.