I feel like I’m noticing a disturbing trend. Everytime I get sick which seems to be every couple weeks lately, The First Lady doesn’t give a shit. She’s almost mad at me. Like I decided to make myself sick. That I openly chose to contract a 105 degree fever. That I enjoy having the sorest throat in the history of throats. That I like burning up and getting the chills. That I like eating god damn soup. Who the fuck chooses to eat soup as an entrée? NOBODY! Just ZERO sympathy coming my way. Almost like I am doing her a disservice by not staying healthy. Sorry I’m out in the streets battling every day working my fingers to the bone to provide for my family and Barstool Sports. Sorry I get run down. Sorry I push my body over the limit. Sorry I don’t know when enough is enough. Sorry I go into the corners and do the dirty work.
But I thought the rule of thumb between man and woman was that a woman takes care of man when said man contracts the Man Flu. (Yes the man flu is a real thing) That’s what my mom did. That’s what all moms do. Somehow I don’t think girlfriends have received the memo. It’s not just me, but lots of guys seem to agree that their significant others have no interest in caring for us when we’re ill. They have no problem with us being the breadwinners and buying tons of horses and Nantucket homes, but the second you get a fever you’re own your own. It’s disgusting and a sad reflection on society. How bad have things gotten? Well I actually had to walk to the store and buy my own ginger ale yesterday. That is appalling. Somewhere KO Barstool is smiling.