Let's Lock This Guy Up Before It's Too Late


Two things:

1) This guy looks very similar to Bryce Harper if Bryce Harper was played by Tom Hanks in a movie in the early 1990s. Besides needing to eat some protein, it’s not the worst thing in the world to be compared to one of the best looking guys on Earth.

2) I hope to goodness this guy lost a bet because dressing up as Bryce Harper, buying a 2nd row seat, and going to the game by yourself with a bobblehead is a 1st ballot serial killer hall of fame move. There’s no coming back from that. This guy better have a hell of a backstory.

(But seriously, I love Bryce Harper, he’s the future of baseball, and we don’t want him dead after tonight. Someone please lock this guy up for the love of the world.)