Uber Giving Out Free Pizza All Across New York

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GothamistHard to believe it’s been five years since surge pricing became a fixture of the local lexicon, but Uber’s part of our world now and they’re thanking our half decade of patronage with the promise of free food. For the next five days, the company’s sponsoring an #UberPizzaPartypromotion that includes free slices from pizzerias around the five boroughs. Each day, a different borough gets the gratis grub; all you have to do is show the Uber app on your phone to get the hookup. AM New York got a look at the complete list, which kicks off today with noted Staten Island pizzeria Joe & Pat’s. Tuesday, it’s Bronx spots Emilio’s Pizza and Full Moon Pizzeria, followed by three Queens pizzerias on Wednesday: Rizzo’s Fine Pizza, Artichoke Basille’s and Lillian Pizzeria. Thursday, Brooklyn gets the nod with Williamsburg Pizza, the Two Boots in Park Slope and legendary pie maker Di Fara (beginning at noon). Finally, on Friday, Manhattan’s six Two Bootslocations, Artichoke Basille’s Pizzeria on 14th Street and Lower East Side spots Rizzo’s Fine Pizza and Williamsburg Pizza.

Remember that time it cost 98 dollars to go 4 blocks on New Years Eve? Well Uber is giving you a free slice of pizza to make up for it! Like DJ Khaled, they appreciate you.

And you know what? Its an incredibly generous gesture. Do you know Uber has to do to show customer appreciation? Fucking nothing. Thats what. Uber doesnt have to do a fucking thing to keep me ordering cars and spending non-existent cash getting from Point A to Point B. I mean dont get me wrong I dont like Surge Pricing but I never once have complained about it. When I see 2.7x or something you know what I do? I roll my eyes a little and I fucking press “Request Car.” Thats the way it works when you put out a revolutionary invention. They’ve got us by the short hairs but I dont even care because of the level of convenience they’ve provided in my life. Deal with it, or get on the subway like a poor. One or the other.

So shout out to Uber going the extra mile and hooking us up with free pizza. You definitely did not need to do that because you have a legion of lazy zombies who will order cars no matter what.