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The Fact The New Arizona Coyotes GM Is Only 26 Is Bullshit

john-chayka

SportsNet – It appears the Arizona Coyotes have found their replacement for long-time general manager Don Maloney. According to Sportsnet’s Elliotte Friedman, the Coyotes’ new GM will be 26-year-old John Chayka while head coach Dave Tippett will take on a larger role in personnel.

The Coyotes confirmed that a press conference for a “major announcement” is scheduled for Thursday afternoon at 2 p.m. ET.

Chayka was initially hired by the Coyotes last May as an assistant general manager with a focus on analytics. The Coyotes’ official website indicated that Chayka was involved in all areas of hockey operations, including the NHL and amateur player evaluation.

Oh well his parents must just be soooooo proud of him. 26-years-old, he’ll be 27 in June. And John Chayka is now the GENERAL FUCKING MANAGER of an NHL franchise. I’m 24 and I was just starting to get used to the fact that half the players in the league are younger than I am. I was just starting to come to grips with the reality that my dream is over. But I thought I’d still have at least a solid 20 years left before the GMs are all younger than me. I feel like I’m going to wake up next week and some shit head coming out of college is going to be the GM of the new Las Vegas team.

The worst part about the whole thing? I think John Chayka is going to make a solid general manager. He’s an analytics guy and I know that we hate fancy stat nerds around these parts. But he thinks outside the box which I think Arizona needs right now. He’ll put together a money ball team in the desert and already has a great foundation to work with with Domi and Duclair and Dylan Strome and Ekman-Larson and either Olli Juolevi or Jakob Chychrun in the draft. That’s a team that you can build a future out of and this kid just got the keys to the castle. He seems competent and qualified enough already, and it’s almost impossible to screw up this roster. All he has to do is find himself a goalie and he’s set for a decade. That lucky son of a bitch.

While we’re on the subject of the Arizona Coyotes, here’s what my first order of action would be if I took over the team. I’d tie Shane Doan up to the net and let everyone rip some clappers at him for this comment he made on “Miracle” the other day.

Maybe Canada can make a movie about the next time they finally win another Stanley Cup. Friggin’ hoser.

@BarstoolJordie