Tom Brady Just Released A $200 Nutrition Manual And I'm Already Feeling Skinnier

Guess who’s becoming a master chef/impregnater of supermodels and celebrities/NFL quarterback/all around perfect person? Hint: it’s me. Kinda feel like this is giving the rest of the NFL the recipe for Michael’s Secret Stuff or handing out a map to the Fountain of Youth so I’m a bit worried that every quarterback will become immortal, but as long as I can slim down a bit in the process I guess I’m with it. Love the fact that it’s made of natural maple too, so fucking classy. You’ve got leather bound books? Peasant. Mine are maple and laser etched.

And yes, the first thing I’ll be making is avocado ice cream. I assume you just cut up an avocado then drop it in a ziplock bag with some ice, sugar, vanilla, and salt then shake it up so I don’t really need the book, but I’ll buy it just to be sure.