Miltons is going to hook up your entire wedding, up to 8 groomsmen, with all the gear they need. Send in your email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll have stoolies vote for the winners. We’re loading up right now for the next Pimp My Wedding Contest so if you are getting married this fall send in your nominations. Next winner will be announced June 24th.
This Month’s Winner
Hey barstool reader,
We need your help bad! This guy (Patrick “hardo” Horan). Needs your help in the worst of ways. He is marrying an awesome girl, Lindsey, who is thankfully in his life. Thank god they found each other freshman year of high school not sure how Pat would have survived. Anyway, she’s going to hate this pic. Thought the engagement would change his barstool obsession but he just can’t stop being the typical stoolie. Phrases such as “hardo”, “take a lap”, “tears taste so good” , etc are common place in group chats as well as regular talks with his fiancée. He even sends typos in texts like most of you do in your articles. Hardo drinks natural light beer or “top 3″ only. This obsession with the smooth Pilsner with all-natural ingredients has lead him to believe he is actually a representative of sales…
As you can see he needs your help which is why I’m doing this. I am the best man at his wedding next October but he has been my best friend since swim class back in ’95. In all seriousness he is a world class individual who would take a bullet for just about anyone (except prez) with a polarizing personality and a fuckin awesome outlook on life. We (the grooms deece men) would be honored to have you guys pimp us out.
All the best,