Twitter Needs To Embrace Porn If It Wants To Turn Their Stock Around

So unless you’re living under a rock, twitter stock continues to plummet. I’m not a Wall Street guy so I’m not entirely sure why this is but I have at least one solution. Porn. Porn? Yes, porn. The very thing that the internet was built on, porn. On Sunday there was buzz on twitter and the blogs because Darrell Waltrip was favoriting some casual anal scenes before he got home from the racetrack.

And it dawned on me, why the hell doesn’t twitter have a hidden tab for all your porn viewing? How fucking stupid is that? The fact that you can like a video and then the whole world can see that you liked it is insanity. Instead there should be an entire Porn section of twitter that never shows up on your likes or retweets or replies. I don’t know a lot about how tech companies work but isn’t the number 1 goal to keep users on your platform as long as possible? Tumblr was built on porn, why not Twitter? If you can go on twitter, hit a NSFW button and basically browse all the porn you want tweeted out by the porn stars themselves wouldn’t you stay on twitter longer? What is twitters other option? Keep watching their stock fall while they try to convince the world the sky isn’t falling? I’m serious, more porn on twitter and twitter goes through the roof. I know this sounds simplistic but it feels like it would work. Step 1 Porn. Step 2 gain millions of new users. Step 3 pull a pageviews and sell them all T-Shirts.

PS

Darrell Waltrip still hasn’t unliked the anal scene. Respect the hell out of that move, man will not shy away from his porn. That’s a good American.