Justin Verlander And Kate Upton Get Engaged, For Real This Time

 

 

 

This is one of those “no shit” engagements. The minute the fappening hit and Verlander and Upton were splashed all over the internet there were only two options. 1) Break up instantly, just walk away from the whole situation and hope in 10 years people say “oh yeah, they did date didn’t they”, or 2) Close ranks and stick it out for life. Once they got a month away from the whole thing it was clear that option 2 was the play. It’s like when two people go through an intense tragedy together, a shared experience that binds them for life. You hear stories of people getting married after a plane crash or some type of crazy accident. Except instead of a tragedy it was a Peter North sized rope on a hotel bed, a topless tie, and a bathroom selfie with jeans and no belt. Basically the exact same thing right? Congrats!

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 9.11.38 AM

 

 

By the way, the whole “Kate Upton is overrated movement” that happened a couple years ago was Exhibit A of the internet having way too many Instagram models and free porn. We’re the most jaded people on planet earth at this point when people are calling Kate Upton a 6. That’s just fucked up.