Guess What? I Am Totally Fine With John Kasich Eating His Pizza With A Fork And Knife

Lot of people going nuts about this, saying that John Kasich is unelectable because he ate a pizza with a fork and knife. As if that’s a worse look than Kasich wearing black pants and a blue jacket, or having a 10 dollar haircut. But let me just say this loud and clear: if eating pizza with a fork and knife is unamerican then ship me off to Guantanamo ASAP. Well, not ASAP, let me explain myself first. I prefer my pizza to be consumed normally, with a fold in the middle. But I’m not above a fork and knife. If it’s a particularly floppy pizza, or a very toppings-oriented pizza, then I’m going to use a fork and knife. It’s easier, cleaner, and yeah, sometimes it’s even better than eating it with your hands. That’s right, I said it and I’m not running away. Sometimes fork and knife pizza is better than hand pizza. You trick your body into thinking it’s eating some exotic Italian dish, or something healthy, because only rich and fit people eat with forks and knives. Getting mad about how someone eats their pizza is the same as getting mad at someone’s drink order: fuck you, I’m gonna do my thing. You do yours.