Goose Gossage just kicked over his black and white TV reading that headline. Yup, the Braves are doing it. They’re adding a god damn zip line to their new ballpark, and I love every second of it.
Braves Executive Vice-President Derek Schiller says a zip line is part of the team’s effort to make an outing to the ballpark more family friendly.
The Atlanta Business Chronicle reports the zip line would most likely be placed behind the video board to carry people from one end of the concourse to the other.
For as anti-old cranky baseball player who refuses to accept change as I might be, believe it or not, I am one of those guys who hates when people show up to the ballpark and their last priority is actually watching the game. I hate the wave, I hate Sweet Caroline, I hate beachballs, I hate the people who take selfies during the game, and the people who stand up and ask the people behind them if they can take their picture for them while the game’s going on. That’s why this is great. If you want to have a fun night out at the ballpark, and you’re not there to watch the game, hey there’s a zip line over there. Have at it. Thanks for your money spent on tickets so that we can spend it on shitty baseball players like Pablo Sandoval.
It’s like how the Lowell Spinners have the moon bounces and ball pits for the little kids so that the adults can watch baseball. If you’re here to take selfies, then there’s no better photo op than over by the zip line, which will be in the concourse area, far, far away from me. Although, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t check it out at least once, especially if you’re a Braves fan. Definitely a better time than watching that team on the field, who will probably lose close to 100 games in 2016 and probably won’t be much better by the time that ballpark opens in 2017.