God bless the internet. God bless the goddam internet. Almost every day I wake up and worry that this gig of mine might disappear. That maybe the internet will stop providing content. Or that maybe the internet will outgrow an average guy just spewing his gut reactions to stories a couple paragraphs at a time.
And then I see a story like this. A story where the internet thought that hundreds of Cubans rode the wings of an airplane – the President’s airplane – from Cuba to America, and I realize I’m safe and sound. I realize I have absolutely nothing to worry about. The internet is so stupid and so special I will be able to do this until I die. Over the years we’ve seen a million fake stories, videos and pictures go viral but I think this one is way up at the top of the list. Cubans dangling from the President’s airplane like Indians on a locomotive, flying tens of thousands of feet in the air. With so many people believing it was true, Snopes had to write an article about it! Snopes! The same place that writes articles like “False: There was never a man with a hook for a hand murdering people that flashed him to alert him that his headlights were off.” I bet the people at Snopes – who have seen it all – were like “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”