Somehow, The Undertaker doesn’t seem like a birthday cake and balloons guy. I’m trying to imagine the Undertaker in an opposite universe where he wears a suit and tie to work every day and does a cubicle job and gets emails from Janet in accounting about a birthday part in the break room. It would end up like a commercial with Undertaker literally murdering the entire office. If there was one guy who was literally born to do his current job, it’s the Undertaker. I kind of wish he retired before social media was a thing. In the current day where reality and story lines often blur, Taker was one of the last, possibly THE last, that you ever saw on Instagram or Twitter. Now his wife Tweets pics of him playing with their kids and it’s like what, no, Undertaker doesn’t have a heart! That’s probably the biggest change between wrestling growing up and now- now you see these guys outside the ring as people, not just characters. Undertaker is a little less scary when you see him with a birthday cake that says “Happy Birthday Mark”. Who the fuck is Mark!? Don’t ever, everrrr call him Mark. Keep Kayfabe alive just a tiny bit for me, Jesus.