Police in central Massachusetts are warning residents to be on the lookout for men who may be challenging passersby to a rap battle. Charlton police said a black SUV with two or three men in their late teens or early 20s inside, pulled up to three young teenage boys on Dresser Hill Road at about 3 p.m. on Saturday. One of the men — described as having brown hair and a pale complexion, wearing a gray T-shirt, gray pants and open-toed sandals — got out of the vehicle and started rapping while the other men asked the boys if they wanted to “spit some bars” with them. When the boys declined, the SUV drove off. “Although this was suspicious behavior and frightening to the boys, nothing made this appear to be an attempted abduction,” Charlton police posted on Facebook.
When I first read this story I assumed the rap battle enthusiasts were black. I assumed that because one, the police seemed to care about it and two, because they were rap battle enthusiasts. I thought, whoa, hey, this is pretty offensive. A coupe black guys trying to have a rap battle is just how they make friends. It’s like white people asking if you want to come over, watch some House of Cards, and eat greek yogurt. Or soccer moms waiting in the school parking lot and discussing last night’s Bachelor finale, it’s just being congenial.
But, upon further investigation/actually reading the story rather than skimming it and letting my sneaky racist brain fill in the blank parts, I learned the offenders were white. Now, I couldn’t agree more with the response from both the police and the news. Find these people and lock them the fuck up. Have you ever met a white kid with a passion for rap battles? They’re the WORST. My freshman year of high school there was one kid, and he couldn’t have been more of a wigga stereotype if he tried. South Pole jeans, Enjyce jackets, Spreeweell sneakers, the whole shebang. He’d just sit in the hallways beat boxing like Daffy Duck and challenging kids to battles. It was the most embarrassing shit ever.