Let me just get some house cleaning out of the way before I talk about that homepage:
1. I’m not sure if this is new or not, but I hadn’t seen it until today. Simmons tweeted his first newsletter so I went to the site to see if it was up and had my eyes raped.
2. I do not hate Bill Simmons. I’ve always liked him, always read him, and always will. I’m not a Grantland fan boy and I’m not some jealous dude who runs a sports blog and lashes out at every opportunity, I’m a normal person. I think Simmons is a great writer who’s annoying at times but is generally pretty likeable.
3. I’m very well aware that a writer on barstoolsports.com is not exactly in a position to complain about a website. Our site didn’t understand the daylight savings time change. Seriously. Barstool Sports is built with the technology that we thought would crumble the world during Y2K.
Now having said all that, what the fuck is this color scheme? It looks like something a MySpace page. I’m surprised “Overnight Celebrity” doesn’t play while the font twinkles as you scroll and mumble under your breath that it’s bullshit how you’re not in Bill Simmons’ top friends. I know this is a weird thing to get upset about but lime green and black is an outrageous combo for what’s supposed to be one of the final frontiers of sports writing on the internet. In third grade I did a book report on Leif Erikson and I swear to god that’s exactly the format I used: black background and lime green font. Used up all the black ink so I got yelled at by my mom and got an F on my paper because it gave my teacher a migraine. Multiple adults called me an idiot for that and I was like seven, yet Simmons chose it for his website? Ridiculous. Again, I know that this is a weird thing to be upset about but I am who I am. Stupidest website ever.