Getting Shot In A Hoverboard Drive-By Might Be The Most Emasculating Thing Ever

 

 

(Source)A man on a hoverboard shot a driver in Dallas early Thursday and then rolled away to avoid capture, Fox 4 News reports. Police were called to a gas station in northwest Dallas shortly after 4 a.m. where they found a man with a gunshot wound in his arm. The wounded man told police that he was driving when a black male with dreadlocks rode by and shot him.

 

 

 

 

I picture all drive-bys to be rather harrowing experiences. Of course, getting shot is never exactly pleasant, but I think a drive-by is particularly brutal. As I’ve learned from many movies, you see it coming from a block away. You watch a tricked out car roll up, blasting rap, probably Tech N9ne or something, that’s good killing music, then a window slowly rolls down as a gun emerges and shoots you dead. Zero fun, all of it. But even worse would be some dreaded dork pull out a gun before he “speeds” away on a hoverboard that doesn’t hover and whose engine revs like a dentist’s drill. I’d be so pissed listening to that thing zoom off while I bled out in a pool of melting Icee which I dropped. That’s a white person drive-by. That ain’t Dallas, dreadlock shit. Black dudes use Impalas, Asians use Kawasaki motorcycles, white dudes use hoverboards and a slingshot. Those are the drive-by rules.