I'm Not Loving Everyone Saying I Look Just Like This Dead ISIS Dude

Screen Shot 2016-03-09 at 2.50.37 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

I get people tweeting at me all day that I look like (insert ugly, white person here). It appears that I’ve become something like the new version of “You white, you Ben Affleck” and now it’s “You ugly and white, you Feitelberg.” Most of the time I chuckle, perhaps throw it a RT if it’s good enough, and move on. But this one isn’t cool. It doesn’t even make sense, I look nothing like this al-Shishani guy. Yeah, there’s the big nose, gross complexion, sunken in and dead eyes, red facial hair, and overall general piece of shit aura he gives off. But aside from that? Nothing. Nothing about us other than that extensive list of things is remotely comparable. So knock it off. The “Feitelberg looks like this asshole” game isn’t fun anymore. I’m done playing! I’m no longer having any fun!

 

 

And the worst part is, I can’t even do anything about it. Stay just kinda fat? I look like Abu Omar al-Shishani. Get super fat? Guess what, now I’m Morten Storm.

 

 

Screen Shot 2016-03-09 at 3.42.56 PM

 

 

 

There’s no way to escape the “I look like an ISIS dude” paradox I currently find myself in. Tough spot. I guess I could lose weight, but who’s got the time.