When I first talked to El Pres about joining the Stool he asked me if I had any ideas for ways to get to know Barstools readers while bringing in my own audence. Almost like a Brady Bunch/Step-By-Step situation except probably not as much sex going on behind the scenes. I remember that as he asked me this I was laying down hungover& shirtless in the grass, and I didnt want to get up because the second you get up from laying down shirtless in the grass your going to be scratching yourself like a meth addict being electrocuted. So I just stared into the sun and said “I dunno, maybe I could be a ombudsman” and Dave pretended to understand what that word was just as convincingly as I pretended to know what it meant when I said it.
Basically a ombudsman is a independent voice designed to answer concerns that the public may have about a institution. Satan was a ombdsman for atheism and Jared Fogle was a ombudsman for Subway to name just a couple familiar examples. ESPN used to have a ombudsman who would squirt out a half-ass apology every time Sean Salisbury wiped his hog on a interns keyboard, or explain how come Greg Easterbrook gets paid 6 times less than Rick Reilly even though he writes 40x as many words and sucks exactly the same amount. As someone whose getting paid by Barstool and therefore no longer asking them for a job, I’m technically pretty much kind of basically as independent as it gets.
So Im here to serve as Barstools Ombudsman. Do you have any questons about why Hollywood Portnoys taking all these meetings out in Californa when he should be working harder to bring you better content? Do you want to know why you cant access Barstool sports on your work computer even though they barely even show any pictures of the outlines of college girls vaginas more than 7 times a day anymore? Do you want to know if Im here as a double agent from SBNation hell-bent on bringing down the site from the inside ? (yes) Was Big Cat a dick to you on twitter? Whose the father of KFCs baby? Etc. Etc. Etc.
Send your questons/comments/concerns to BarstoolOmbudsman@gmail.com and we will address them here each and every Friday along with sometimes doing a “tweet of the week” where we give out a award to the best reader tweet we receved all week and then reward them with something I purchase off amazon of my choosing.
TGIF its time to start partying aka drinking & watching house of cards on my couch and then having to rewatch the last one tommorrow morning because I blacked out.