Everything In This Video Of A Girl Blowing A Denny's Waiter As A Tip Makes No Sense To Me

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So this one I’ve seen pop on some of the Black Twitter feeds I keep an eye on — just in case — and I’m going to go out on a limb and say I’m a little perplexed by it. I know I sometimes err on the side of liking a good story rather than cautiously doing the “SO FAKE” route that’s much easier to do and also much less fun*. But I think in situations in which Denny’s employees are being blown next to Grand Slams, it deserves a breakdown to determine how likely it is we’re seeing something real or some setup for a porn website we don’t currently know exists.


In favor of it being real:


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-I consider myself an expert on the human condition and ^ that face is definitely the face of a man trying to play it cool as he gets his dick sucked in front of random dudes at his place of work
-Zero percent chance this girl lets this guy cum in real life but in a porn situation, probably. Her jerking and dashing is a big check in the “this is real” column
-The genuine surprise when she says “Ooh you got a big one”…as a connoisseur of big dick worship porn, I can tell you no porn scene has ever been that well acted. I’m also not sure what it says about that chick that she didn’t realize it was a big dick until after going throat deep on it, interesting form of measurement
-Along the same lines, that guy’s “I’ll tell you what…that is one awesome tip!” line could not have been more of a “I’m kind of the butt of the joke here so I’m gonna win everyone over with my witty repartee” moment. Like that was going to crack everyone up and then she’d keep blowing him instead of leaving with a belly full of stale pancakes and precum


In favor of it being fake:


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-In that blog on girls’ blowjob stories yesterday I mentioned that a girl blowing a guy in a public park restroom seemed scuzzy but blowing a random Denny’s worker is a level beyond. It’s a life choice so sketchy for a woman to make that you have to raise an eyebrow
-Them mentioning “other videos” could be talking about them actually partying or it could be some sort of new reality porn site where they’re pretending as if this is real to get people to sign up. Porn viral marketing can be sneaky
-Well the whole thing kind of felt like the Rollergirl limo scene in Boogie Nights but with a much less tragic ending. Though I guess that technically was real even though it wasn’t actually real so maybe this doesn’t belong in this column. Whatever man


Judge Spags’ ruling on if it’s fake or real…I’m going real. And if it is real, this crew seems like a real delight to hang out with. If even the guy working at Denny’s is getting blown, you know it’s a good time.


*For the record, I view us as bloggers as carnival barkers; as long as you “ooh and ahh” enough and enjoy the experience at the Freak Show, it doesn’t matter if the guy really drove a nail into his brain. I feel like a Denny’s guy’s fat dick makes this an extra apt analogy.