CBS - From a crumpled paper bag in a dilapidated house came a baseball-card find of a lifetime. Seven of them actually. Card experts in Southern California said Wednesday that they have verified the legitimacy – and seven-figure total value – of seven identical Ty Cobb cards from the printing period of 1909 to 1911. Before the recent find, there were only about 15 known to still exist. Joe Orlando, the president of Professional Sports Authenticator in Newport Beach, California, who verified the find, said it is “spectacular” and “miraculous” to have come across such a cache. “I am not sure if any other baseball card find is more remarkable than this new discovery,” Orlando said in a statement. The family who discovered the cards in a neglected paper bag at the run-down house of a deceased great-grandfather has asked to remain anonymous. The cards with the famed Detroit Tigers slugger come from a lot known as T206, the group most prized by collectors that also includes the Honus Wagner card, arguably the most famous sports card ever. Orlando said the total worth of the whole cache should exceed $1 million. It’s not yet clear what the family who found them intends to do with them.
First of all, this sounds way too good to be true. It’s such a classic story that it smells so fake, which in turn makes it seem like it has to be real, because why would you come up with such a cliche story…which in turn makes you think it has to be fake again.
But anyway, let’s go with it, that this is real. The great-grandfather has to be the biggest asshole on the entire planet. He just let those cards sit in a brown paper bag, rotting away in the attic and never thought to tell anyone? Never thought to take his woman on a cruise, maybe give his grandchildren an extra special birthday present, nothing? Just let them sit in the god damn brown bag until he died. He’s like the old bitch from the Titanic, dropping the diamond into the ocean at the end of the movie. Hey you old bag, you have a daughter with bills to pay and a mouth to feed! You think that mortgage is going to pay itself? I wonder how many times Rose heard her daughter complain and worry and cry about making ends meet and panick about paying for little Timmy’s college education— and then she just ho-hum drops the diamond in the fucking ocean! What a fucking whore. First she lets Leo die, then she throws a million dollars into the Atlantic Ocean for Free Willy to eat. I bet her and this baseball card hoarder are just laughing and laughing together in Hell.
But I digress, I was about to throw away my baseball cards, but now I guess I have to save them for another 100 years? I wouldn’t want to be the guy who threw away this gem and made my grandchildren starve as a result.
Saving the pogs and beenie babies too. Can never be too careful.