Squash Player Checking In With One Of The Most Athletic Plays Of The Century

First off, not a good look for the game of Squash by A) Cutting immediately to someone sleeping in the crowd and B) Having the only black person in the building mop up the floors. But it doesn’t matter, because that was one wicked play by that chap. And on top of that we’ve another episode of foreign announcers doing the damn thing. “He does not miss a sausage, he’s a warrior and a half.” I’m stuck with Matt Stairs struggling to think/breathe while dozens of Squash fans across the ocean get this Dickens worthy commentary. Life isn’t fair. Also, that play should have been followed with a little feisty action. Squash 101. Nothing wrong with a little Squash smack talk. Obligatory video:

Kind of a sidenote, but other than the kid hibernating, that crowd was ELECTRIC. Between that atmosphere and the European Dart League, those foreigners come to the stands to play.

“It’s highway robbery in alley talley!”

The glitz. The glamour. The girls. These guys have it all. No lie, that legitimately looks like the most fun thing I’ve ever seen. Like I grew up yearning to play under the lights in either baseball or football, but why? Everything any grown man would ever want is right here in the Euro Dart League. Plus you can booze your face off and still be considered in your prime well into senility. Sign me the fuck up as a Professional European Darts and/or Squash Master, STAT.