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Hanley Plays First Base Exactly How I Used To Play When I Was Trying To Piss Off My Coaches

 

 

 

 

EVERY single clip I’ve seen of Hanley from the Fort is legitimately a spitting image of what I used to do after a coach yelled at me in practice, or made me do something I didn’t want to do. Not exactly a compliment for a millionaire athlete. I feel like everyone did that,  the “Watch I’m not even going to fake try, look how loose I am. Doesn’t this fucking piss you off? Hahaha this is just a silly game. Ooooh ground ball, huge scoop! Did I need to do that? No, I could’ve just been fundamentally sound but I know it makes your blood boil so I did it anyway. That’s what you get for telling me what to do,” bullshit. We did it in high school. To see a guy who has a lot to prove this season pulling this makes me want to snap my laptop over my knee.

 

Please, Hanley, pretend to care. That’s all I’m asking. For a few hours a day, pretend to give one single fuck. You know what? Doesn’t even have to be for a few hours, do it for one Twitter video. One vid where you don’t side saddle a ball and make an exaggerated scoop, one vid where you make a stretch from first base or catch the ball like a normal human, one vid where you actually finish a drill and make a throw rather than a limp-wristed flick. We can start there and build from that. For the rest of the week, I’m asking you to try for 15 seconds per day. I know we can do it.

 

And I’m not even asking just for my well-being, it’s for yours too. If you don’t start getting your body in front of the ball and actually pay attention, Pedroia is intentionally gonna start shattering your teeth. This plea is as much for your sake as it is mine.

 

Oh, get a glove too. That wouldn’t really ease any concerns at all, but it’d be nice to have a first baseman who has his own glove.