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Shouts To This College Kid Getting A Full Pants Off Handjob In A Giant Windowed Library

 

A reader at Bryant University sent this in after the video of a guy getting a handjob in their library was blowing up from someone on Snapchat and, while it’s a quick video, it’s so outrageous to me for a few reasons that I’m going to bulletpoint here:

 

1) Those are GIANT fucking windows. Like huge. How you are courageous enough to jerk off next to movie theatre windows in a well lit room at night that probably everyone on campus can see into is admirable but completely ridiculous.

 

2) This dude has both his pants and shoes off. I fully agree that there’s a slim chance I’m getting off from a handjob and having less restrictive clothing obstacles in the way may help out a bit. But like you can’t recover if someone walks in if you’re just naked from the waist down like that. Gotta remember the basic tenets of public sex, have to be ready to not get caught within seconds.

 

3) I can’t speak to the quality of the handjob because so much is dependent upon her grip, positioning, and wrist action but I know from the Internet that a handjob like that is a total pro move. You don’t want some porn star handjob where she’s on the floor acting like it’s so hot that you’re being forced to come without the aid of an orifice. You want it clinical as fuck, a girl sitting up right in her winter sweater jerking you off from another chair like a disgusted Asian massage parlor worker. Those are the good handies if we have to do that.

 

So anyway props to this guy and his dick for going viral and congrats to this woman for mastering the very 2016 skill of handjobs. Next up for this girl: Learning to use a loom or fighting off the rising menace in Korea.

 

PS since we’re already doing a dick blog, I’m just gonna throw in this Vine that’s going viral too but probably doesn’t deserve its own blog. NSFW but pretty funny as far as some dick’s exploding into the public eye goes:

 

 

(h/t Brendan for the tip)