I thought I had my fill of Buzzfeed “For the first time” videos. They were just spiraling out of control. “Sisters touch their brother’s dicks for the first time” and shit like that.
But Stone Cold Steve Austin drinking girly cocktails for the first time, well thats one I can get behind. Pretty much anything Stone Cold Steve Austin I can get behind. Pisses me off to no end that Buzz Feed was hanging out with The Rattlesnake but I got a kick out of watching him sip on Jolly Rancher shots and Appletinis. “I would call this ‘Give me one of those red piles of shit.'” “This is one of those drinks that just piss you off. Little sumbitch like this you put it in a frilly glass with a little umbrella probably set you back ten bucks. FOR WHAT? A case of sugar diabeetus and no buzz? Fuck that drink.” Perfectly unfiltered, genuine Stone Cold reactions.
Love how he actually enjoyed the Cosmopolitan. If you act like you dont like at least a few girly drinks you are a certified dickhead. Anybody too insecure to sip on something a little fruity or sugary every now and then is a pussy. My rule has always been drink whatever you want to drink, when you want to drink it. I mean I think Nate is a maniac asshole for drinking Bloody Mary’s at 10pm. I think there’s a time and a place to drink a fancy martini. Of course there are certain standards and expectations you should probably just fall into when it comes to drinking. Not because of some macho shit. Just because we should all just be normal people and follow certain protocol. But if you wanna rock out with an Appletini, go nuts. Its not my thing but I personally dont give a shit what anybody else drinks. Drink bubblegum vodka. Drink some warm whiskey. Whatever. We’re all just trying to get to the same place – and thats being drunk enough that you feel like life is better than it actually is. Dont tell me how to cook my steak and dont tell me what I should drink. Those are my two rules.