Hey did you have a rough weekend? One of those 2 or 3 day benders where you drank too much? Ate like a pig? You checked your online banking this morning and now you realize you have like a hundred bucks to make it to your next paycheck? One of those weekends where you’re just disgusted with yourself?
Well just tell yourself “At least I didnt end up alone in the parking lot of a burger joint, shoeless and rambling to strangers!” That should make you feel a little better. Admittedly its setting the bar a little bit low for your life, but hey we all gotta start somewhere.
Oddly enough I think this is the exact situation pretty much everyone expected Delonte to end up in. I think I actually had my money on Waffle House, not Jack In The Box. And I expected him to have his machine gun in his guitar case, Desperado style. But fucked up and barefoot talking nonsense in a random parking lot was a mortal lock. He looks like a bi-racial Marv from Home Alone. After the iron to the face and the nail to the foot. But hey, on the bright side, Delonte – that permanent herpes on your lip is barely noticeable these days. You got that going for you. And you can always hang your hat on the fact that you fucked Lebron James’ mom. You could be face down in the gutter barely clinging to life and you’ll always have that trump card. Nike probably just guaranteed Lebron a billion dollars for life and you are barefoot at Jack in the Box but you still win.
PS – I’m telling you right now, spare me the “he was diagnosed with bi polar. This isnt funny” comments. If you cant make fun of a barefoot, homeless Delonte West in a parking lot, whats the point of the internet? Whats the point of this blog? Take your mental illness crusade elsewhere.