The Sixers Are Listening To Offers For Okafor And Embiid Is In Qatar Rehabbing His Foot...Wait, What?

Hey, Colangelo, gauge this interest!

crotch

Wait…I don’t exactly hate this. It’s one thing to simply listen, it’s another to act. And if they don’t get an offer that’ll literally give them a blowjob to Kingdom Come, there’s zero chance they should trade Okafor. I’m talking DeAngelo Russell, make the Lakers #1 overall pick unprotected (more Ben Simmons guarantee), and their next, say, 2 first round picks along with a genetically engineered Kobe cloned baby to raise. I’d take something along those lines. But anything less would be uncivilized for this 20-year-old untamed beast. ESPECIALLY when this is going down overseas with Embiid:

PHILADELPHIA — Joel Embiid wasn’t with the 76ers when they returned from the six-day all-star break Wednesday evening. Embiid was in Doha, which is the capital of Qatar, consulting and rehabilitating his twice surgically repaired right foot at Aspetar, which bills itself as “the world’s leading specialized orthopedic and sports medicine hospital.” Embiid traveled to Qatar, which is in the Persian Gulf, over the weekend and is expected to remain there for a few more days, according to a second NBA source that confirmed the first source’s report. The source called this a “previously scheduled” trip at a facility the organization had investigated for roughly six months and referred to it as “a kick-start to the next phase” of Embiid’s rehab. The source, emphasizing Embiid hasn’t had a setback, said Embiid’s stay involves “evaluation, consultation, training and meeting with lots of specialists.”

Huh? Qatar? You mean that 8th world country that’s been killing 3/4th of its population to slave them in the billion degree heat to get ready for the 2022 World Cup they snaked? High performance hospital my dick. I don’t care if a bunch of world class soccer pussies go there to get their shit checked out. If Embiid’s foot isn’t being injected with a full dead fetus worth of stem cells that’ll make him immortal, this trip isn’t worth the time. And when that happens, look out. I’ll take a mutant Embiid any day of the week.

CUE IT.