LONDON — The deputy head teacher of a primary school in Greater Manchester has sent a note to parents asking them to stop smoking cannabis on the school run. Deborah Binns wrote the letter for parents at St John’s primary school in Radcliffe asking them to “set an appropriate example.” Community police will be monitoring the situation to make sure no-one’s toking as they drop their kids off, she warned. “We have had concerning reports that parents have been using cannabis around the school premises as they drop off and collect their children,” the note says. “This has been reported by parents and has been noticed by some of the older children.” “This is a serious safeguarding concern and if further complaints are brought to our attention, we will notify the relevant authorities. We have informed the community police service and they are likely to be keeping a close eye on the situation.”
Well that’s bullshit. A real buzz kill. These parents are just trying to go about their daily lives. They’re trying to get by like the rest of us. So what if that means they wanna puff pass a little bit as they drop off and pick up their little devils at school? More power to them. Don’t judge somebody until you’ve driven a mile in their mini van. And who are these older kids snitching to the teachers? Point’em out. Point’em out for all to see. They need to be publicly shamed. Nobody likes a tattle tale*. As soon as one of them went up to a teacher and spilled the beans the teacher should’ve said, “Shut the fuck up, Tommy. Snitches get stitches.” This story sums up the beauty of weed by the way. It works for all occasions. Drop the kids off at school? Celebrate with a joint! Pick the kids up from school? Deal with life’s problems by smoking a joint! It always works no matter the situation.
*Random but “nobody likes a tattle tale” is my favorite thing that we drill into kids’ heads. I don’t say that sarcastically either. I really mean it like The Diplomats. We tell our kids to play nice, share with one another, be respectful, raise your hand, don’t talk out of turn, etc. All the attributes it takes to be a normal, functioning member of society. Then we also teach them the ghetto code of not snitching. Keep your eyes on your own paper. You saw nothing. Don’t you dare go talking to the teacher or the principal or the authorities about what you saw. Mind your own damn business. Everybody is going through something.