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Hey Ladies, Want Free Tickets For Game 1 Of The Stanley Cup Finals? Just Send This Hardo Your Tits And You Should Be Good To Go

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Hey Hawks fans, I have a pair of tickets for game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals on Wednesday at the UC. Got them from a client at the investment firm where I work. I cant make the game and I can’t sell the tickets without getting a potential fine from the SEC. Shitty, I know.
No offense, I make a ton of money anyway. Sorry.


Anybody want these tickets? No cost, just service or item needed. I am single guy living the life. Do you have enough creativity to take these tickets off my hands? Make a video, send me an offer to meet, whatever works. Do not be shy. Let me know ASAP. Best offer gets the tickets. And keep in mind, I go cage diving with sharks, I am not impressed easily.
Email me your offer.

 

As much as I want to hate this guy (talking about how much money you make is an all time douchebag move) I can’t, because you know what, he has the tickets. He has the power. It’s econ 101. He has a good that is in high demand and low supply therefore he gets to name his terms. Whether it be a video, or pictures, or an old fashioned 69, or even a threesome. Someone will pay for these tickets in the exact manner he wants payment. It’s inevitable. So yeah, scumbag, maybe a little, but he’s not wrong. He’s going to get his dick sucked one way or another, it’s simple economics.

 

PS

Think he wants to see my handclaw? Worth a shot right?