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Loser Flyers Fan Gets The Wrath Of God Delivered To Him By The Mechanical Bull At Xfinity

Stuff like this unfortunately happens wayyyy too much in the life of a degenerate, so if you care to see it in real time on Snapchat more power to you – Smitty1581.

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!!! So that’s what happens when a certified City Slicker asks the guy who runs the mechanical bull to “Give it a little English”. There wasn’t anything little about it, that was a good ol’ fashioned ragdollin’. Those damn people who control these sauced up cattle hold way too much power at their fingertips. Pretty sure you can hear my groin pop from outer space before the noggin’ gets whiplashed. Still wasn’t as painful as the Flyers loss, so I guess it was good to numb it out a little bit. However, that pre-death, yee-haw hat pumps to Bruce are as on point as it gets, so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

And to think I was athletic enough to guarantee at least a solid 2 seconds at the helm. That’s the fastest dismount at PBR since the mechanical bull rejected this beast from its hide.

PS – Seriously, my groin is currently in shreds. Between stuff like this and getting steamrolled by that Sherman Tank Holley Mangold during your standard wedding Oklahoma Drill, that rumored Chernin Health Plan better be kicking in sooner than later. We’re on borrowed time here before another ACL explodes.