Wash Po – Snowzilla has gone, leaving behind confused snowfall estimates, regrettable junk-food decisions, an incubating October baby boom and a lingering sense of dread for many parents. The work ethic of our kids: Where is it? Where are the entrepreneurial snow shovelers? For generations of enterprising children, snowflakes may as well have been dollar bills, y’all, falling from the sky. Ding-dong, scoop, shovel, scrape, ka-ching! Kids jostled to be the first to ring the doorbells of the snowed-in, the $5 driveways added up and that new Atari Defender game cartridge, those rainbow Vans — yours and yours. But in 2016? Not so much. “3 ft of snow and NO kids knocking on doors to make money shoveling on a Sunday! What does that tell you? Sad state of affairs,” tweeted CNN analyst and retired NYPD detective Harry Houck. “By the way, where are all the neighborhood kids wanting to make money shoveling snow?” bemoaned Roberta Rinker, who had had zero doorbell rings from children in her neighborhood in Silver Spring, Md., and a huge shoveling job ahead of her. All over social media, folks were telling kids to get off their Xboxes and get to work. “Man where the young bucks at .?.?. all this snow. Kids ain’t makin no money,” tweeted Real Talk N’ Sports, a local sports podcast.
Hey old people…get fucking lost. No kids are out there doing manual labor for a few bucks anymore because its 2016 and the world is awesome. Lets see would I rather…break my back shoveling 900 pounds of snow for like 50 bucks? Or stay at home and look at naked bitched on snapchat? Would I rather freeze my dick off while simultaneously sweating my dick off for the old man across the street? Or would I rather go binge the latest season of awesome television on Netflix? People used to shovel for money because there was literally nothing else to do once it snowed. In the year 2016 you cant expect kids to want to do legitimately the worst thing imaginable instead of just soaking in all the awesome shit the indoor world has to offer.
Plus, who really wants kids doing their shoveling? I used to do that shit and I did a flat out terrible job. Left like a solid 2 inches of snow there which probably froze overnight and was ten times worse.
The rest of today’s episode:
Harry Potter has a new movie as a farting dead dude